Twists and Turns
by Ragnarok Emissary
Summary: We all love the story of Naruto, but how would that story change if Naruto had a friend that knew every twist an turn of the plot?  What if that friend were really his son?  Time travel fic, NaruHina, rated T for violence & slight language, read & review!
1. Antithesis

**I normally will stick with a project until it's finished, but it seems the more I think about this story the more it crowds out my other stories; so this is more of a form of release for me so that, when I finnish this of course, I can go back to writing my other stories. Hail Tetrixeus, Lord of Blocks, weaver of fate!  
**

**The idea came when I was reading "The Devil's Arithmetic", how the grandchild goes back to the time of the holocaust in someone else's body who looks like them.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I wouldn't very well be writing fanfiction for it.**

Antithesis

"Push!" he yelped as her grip on his hand tightened to bone-breaking proportions.

"I'M PUSHING!"

"Ano, eh, well then push a little harder!" he said, trying to sound enthusiastic and encouraging. There was an audible snap from his hand . . .

"YOU HAVE _NO_ IDEA WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!" she snarled; he flinched back at that. Oh the joy of child labor; it can, and did in this case, turn normally soft spoken women into shrieking banshees before the night is through. This was the scene of the birth of Naruto's first child.

(Line Piece)

A twenty-two year-old Naruto stood outside of the hospital room his wife was currently in, nursing his broken hand as it started to heal. His hair was slightly longer, but his wife wouldn't let him grow it out like his dad; everything he was wearing was almost like it had been when he was young—well, younger—unless you count the black and red trench coat with the kanji for 7th embossed on the back. Indeed, the seventh hokage, he would have rather been the sixth, but Danzo had taken that title no matter how short his reign was.

Naruto had been in dozens of bloody battles, and walked away almost unfazed, but this was on a whole new level of psychological disturbance. Blood and fluids and something squirming around in them. How do women do it? The prospect terrified him to death!

His thoughts were cut short by the door opening beside him, the old fifth hokage walked out. Her blond hair was unkempt due to the unreasonable time it was, but her eyes hosted a light that shined; she was happy for her surrogate grandson.

"It's a boy." Tsunade said, smiling and holding her bloodied hands up in mock-celebration; Naruto got one good look at her crimson stained fingers before his eyes rolled back into his head and he keeled over, passed out. Tsunade just laughed; oh the joy of child labor, it can turn battle hardened ruffians into blubbering idiots before the night is through.

She left him laying there and walked back into the sterilized room. There lay the mother, breathing deeply in sleep, with her child bundled up close, he was sleeping just as soundly. _He'll be a quiet one,_ Tsunade thought to herself as she walked over, _wish I could sleep that deep._ She started moving her equipment to the door, taking it to be sterilized, but turned as she reached the door and looked back.

_Might as well get his checkup done while I'm here, _the old woman walked back to the hospital bed once more and picked up the little bundle that she'd just helped deliver. She pulled open his eyelids and looked at his eyes, they were creme green with pupils. Kushina had green eyes, so it must have skipped a generation. She sighed in relief, no political matters associated with dojutsu would arise. Tsunade then examined the infant's head, the little stubble of his dark hair tickling her hand; there were no disfigurations in his skull, a common condition with newly-borns. She looked back at the mother, and then at the child, _yup, definitely looks more like his mom. _

The Fifth neared the finish of her examination, only the torso remained unchecked. She moved two fingers along the babe's chest, checking rib placement; the right side was fine, but as she felt for the twelfth bone on the left there was nothing there! She checked again, anxiety building inside of her, nothing was where that rib should have been. She explored a little bit further down his torso and her hand found resistance. There! It was about an inch below its placement, like it had broken and grown together wrong. The misplaced rib wasn't in any position to jab any organs or muscles, but that didn't change that it was in the wrong spot. _I'd have to break it and reset the bone, but I can't do that from outside the body, but children can't survive open chest surgery—GAH, what can we do then! _ Tsunade was a little at war with herself, but she knew that she had to leave it be for now. _Let's just hope it doesn't cause any problems, we can take care of it when he's a little bit older._

There is a law, a theory if you will, that has yet to be proven totally wrong. "Anything that _can_ go wrong _will_ go wrong" was the saying, and things went very wrong that night . . .

(Line Piece!)

Ikotsu Uzumaki – age 4

"Okaa-san, why are your eyes white?"

"Well . . ."

"Why don't I have white eyes?"

"Ano, because . . ."

"Otou-san, why is your hair yellow?"

"Now that I think of it . . . I don't know! Hinata-hime, why is my hair yellow?"

"Because your father's hair was yellow, dear."

"Well yeah, but where did he get it?"

The boy who was named Ikotsu grew up with two loving parents, Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata, with the exact behavior you would expect from a four-year-old, but as the years passed they gradually noticed a change . . .

(Line Piece!)

Ikotsu Uzumaki – age 7

"Alright Ikotsu, this is a technique that will help you your whole life long," said a twenty-nine year-old Naruto, forming the ram seal, his son formed the seal too. They stood in the Hokage's personal training study.

"It's called Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone), and what you want to do is channel a lot of chakra through this hand-seal" he continued, forming the cross seal with his fingers, six shadow clones poofing into existence. Young Ikotsu was ecstatic at his father's performance.

"Ooh, do it again, do it again!" Ikotsu demanded excitedly, clapping his hands. Six more Naruto clones popped up.

"Now it's your turn." Naruto said, watching his son expectantly; he had been teaching his little boy about chakra for the past year, though his son seemed to like his stories better, now was the time to test his knowledge. Ikotsu nodded, forming the cross with his fingers, his cute little green eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed in concentration.

"Kage Bunshin no juts-" little Ikotsu was about to finnish when an indescribable amount of pain wrenched in his chest, the "-u" never came, he gasped in pain and blood spattered from his mouth. The little boy collapsed as more blood poured from his mouth, pooling on the hard-wood floor, soaking his dark blue hair.

"Ikotsu!" Naruto cried out, not knowing what to do, this had never happened before. Ikotsu looked up at his father trying to form the words "I'm sorry I couldn't do it", but they wouldn't come. His vision faded to black.

That was the day that they found out what was wrong with the poor child, a defect that only a Hyuuga would see.

"When he was born, I found that he had a rib that had grown in wrong. I hoped that it would just reset by itself and didn't think much of it, it wasn't really life threatening, but upon inspection it seems to be tapping the main tenketsu of his central chakra system. So when he tried to use a high-level, high chakra technique, his outer chakra system couldn't handle the strain without trying to pull chakra from the central system." Hinata and Naruto couldn't believe their ears as they stood in the hospital room next to their sedated child's bed, listening to the slug sennin. The boy was breathing shallowly and he'd cough up a red mist every now and again. Hinata looked at her son, sadness in her eyes.

"It can't be fixed at this age, can it?" Hinata asked, knowing from her general medical education that the child was still too young to undergo such a surgery. Naruto looked at his wife in dismay.

"You mean . . . That he . . . he doesn't have any chakra?" he asked, scared of the answer.

"No, he has chakra, quite the amount for his age, but it's capped, it's stagnant." Tsunade said, taking a moment to come up with an analogy that the semi-dense Hokage could easily understand, "Think of your chakra system as a series of pipes with water in them, tenketsu are where they intersect and they determine where the water flows. Now think, that if every pipe of the system would intersect at one point and if that point got plugged, what would happen?"

"That's easy Baa-chan, the water would stop." the realization hit Naruto like a very pissed Sakura-chan on a bad day "But how! Chakra flow is required to live isn't it, if his is stopped, then how is he alive still!"

"There are two chakra systems, baka! The inner, or central, system and the outer system. The inner is comprised of chakra that the body's internal organs and tissues produce, while the outer is made up of the chakra produced by the muscles and other cells in the dermis and epidermis; the outer chakra system produces barely any chakra at all, but apparently it was enough for Ikotsu to survive on." Tsunade explained scientifically, smacking Naruto upside the head for the first part.

"Dirmus? Sounds like something Ero-Sennin would say in his porn novels." that statement earned Naruto another smack to the head.

(Line Piece!)

Ikotsu Uzumaki – age 8

"Otou-san, will you tell me a story? I haven't heard one for a while . . . and I thought . . ." Ikotsu asked shyly. _Gonna have to get him to stop mumbling, _Naruto thought to himself as he sat down next to his son's bed. The boy had slowly increased his chakra reserves in his outer system, he could do one full kage bunshin now, though he'd never tell his father that he'd been using chakra like that again; his dad was scared to death of the possibility of him killing himself with chakra depletion. Even with the boy's caution, there would always be days like these, when he couldn't get out of bed; after all, mother knows best.

"It's fine son. So which awesome tale would you like to hear from me today?" Naruto asked, putting on a strong front for his son, though his insides were churning with sadness. He'd never get to teach his son the Rasengan with as little chakra he had, he'd never get to watch him make dazzling explosions to impress people, but what he feared worst of all was that his son would try. He had heard the boy say "I'll make you proud, don't worry", it drove a kunai through his heart to hear that; that even while little Ikotsu was suffering, he still wanted to make his father proud.

"I want to hear how you kicked akatsuki's asses again!" the boy energetically cried, his previous quiet destroyed.

"Tut, tut, little Ikotsu, where did you learn such language; your mother wouldn't approve." Naruto warned, but still smiled at his son's antics.

"Baa-sama taught me, and I'm not little I'm fun-sized!"

There was a loud sneeze in the hospital, Tsunade looked down at the patient's stitched arm that she had just sneezed on before rubbing an antiseptic wipe over the wound, eliciting a whimper from the patient.

(LINE PIECE!)

Ikotsu Uzumaki – age 11

Ikotsu ran home from the academy, he'd been going there for two and a half years and tomorrow was the graduation exam. Over the years he had made remarkable progress in his chakra, it was now possible to create a shadow clone without his 'condition' acting up, his taijutsu was nothing to scoff at either. He waved to people he knew as he passed through the districts to the Hokage manor; okay so it was not really a manor, it was more like an apartment with a yard, but it was a castle to Ikotsu. He ran through the front door of his "manor" and was greeted by his mother in all her pale-eyed glory.

"I'm home!" he hollered as he came in.

"How did your day at the academy go?" Hinata smiled, she was a tall woman with dark blue hair that reached down to her thighs. Seeing her child reminded her so much of Naruto and herself that it was scary sometimes; his dark blue hair looked almost exactly like hers when she was a fresh genin, only boyish and shaggy.

"Oh it went _great_! I'M SO PUMPED UP FOR THE EXAM! I know! We should make some cinnamon rolls to prepare, MWAHAHAHAHA!" litt—_young_ Ikotsu rambled while his mother looked on, an amused smile graced her features. _And this is what he's like WITHOUT sugar, _the Hyuuga maiden thought to herself as her son ransacked the cupboards for ingredients. She wouldn't trade _anything_, not even all the gold of the world for this life she was living with her one true love. Though her son did not possess the Bayakugan the two branches of the Hyuuga had been dissolved so she was not required to have another child to name heir to the bloodline, but that didn't mean she wouldn't. Hinata was now blushing furiously at the thought of another child.

Later that night, when the Hokage had successfully defeated the bane of all Hokage-ness (that is paperwork) and returned home, the family prepared to celebrate. It wouldn't be that hard to bust out the cinnamon rolls and light of the party explosives, but that was to be saved for the next day, tonight was the night for study. Right now Ikutso was sparring with his father.

"You're so full of openings dad!"

"I'm leaving openings on purpose, I'll start to make it harder to find them as you progress."

When it became too dark to spar, the non-physical study came into play. As much as Ikotsu loved taijutsu his true favorite study was history, reading the stories of what had happened rather than the novels of what could never happen, through they were good too. While Ikotsu sat at the table, studying, the two lovebirds known as his parents took the liberty of a quick dance. Dances are a lot like sparring; there is a pattern, but you can break patterns and make new ones. That's what they did that night, just breaking patterns and having fun. When they came back to the table, Naruto looked down to realize that his sake bottle was gone; he had left it there for when he'd get back, but it wasn't there anymore. Both the parents noticed that young Ikotsu had a drunken blush under his eyes. They put two and two together.

"Ikotsu, why did you drink the sake?" they both asked with different tones.

"Ooh, ish thish wha dish iz, I'z thut it wer soooda." the drunken eleven year-old answered, looking tipsily down at the little white bottle in his hand. Oops. He looked up at his parents before his eyelids became heavy and he put his head down on the table, passed out. Naruto took his son up in his arms and took the little boy to his room, and put him on his boy's bed. He smiled at his son, a true and genuine smile, not just a happy mask. _We'd have been best of friends when I was a kid, _he thought as he left the room and went back to his wife, and they started to dance once more.

Sake is an interesting liquid, especially its effects on small children. The boy dreamed the night away, or was when he was awake the dream? Was it that he had to sleep to wake himself up? He knew not the answer, but he did know that when he awoke, dream or no dream, this was not where he had fallen asleep . . .

(Squiggly!)

Umino Iruka genuinely cared for each of his students, especially Naruto, so he was genuinely pleased when Renga Ikotsu entered his classroom, even if it _Was_ the day of the final exam and even if he _was_ ten minutes early. The boy had had a sad life, his parents had died in the Kyuubi attack, his psychological health had took a turn for the worse, slowly becoming distant, and soon stopped attending class. He had dark blue hair, in a shaggy style much like the young Hyuuga girl in his class as well, and creme green eyes.

"So nice that you could come Ikotsu, please have a seat and wait for the rest of the class." Iruka's scarred face smiled to the boy and received a confused stare in return.

"Ano, I'm not sure this is my class, I can't find my teacher anywhere." there was an audible cracking sound in the background as Iruka's heart shattered, his student didn't remember him!

"What are you talking about, this is your class, I remember teaching you when you came! I'm your teacher!" Iruka smiled even wider, trying to jog his confused student's memory.

"Uh, no, you're not, I don't even know you," the boy stated flattly, big anime tears streamed down Iruka's face as he clenched his fist. _I'm a failure as a teacher, my student doesn't even know me!_

"Well I guess I'm your teacher's substitute for today_," _Ikotsu's eye twitched at Iruka's statement. Iruka was finding it harder and harder not to cry at Ikotsu's blatant denial of him being his sensei. The lie seemed to satisfy Ikotsu, for now, he took a seat near the front.

As students started filing in, Ikotsu became more and more uneasy; first waking up in an apartment, rather than his home, and now this? Who were these people, they didn't look a thing like his classmates! As his "teacher" passed out the exam, he started to read. This would be a piece of cake! As soon as the written test was finished the "instructor" began calling out names for the ninjutsu portion. _No taijutsu? _Ikotsu wondered, his real instructor had guaranteed a taijutsu portion with some guy by the name of 'Rock Lee', this was off. He halted his chakra system for a moment, trying to dispel any genjutsu, nothing.

"Ikotsu Renga!" the instructor called. Ikotsu's last name wasn't Renga, what was going on here? He came into the testing room, two judges in chunnin vests sat at a table.

"Please demonstrate the bunshin technique," Mizuki said flatly; only four more to go, then he could enact his plan after class. He had never heard of Ikotsu Renga, but Iruka said that he was a student none the less, just another orphan because of that Demon. The boy just stood there, forming no hand seals.

"Bunshin no Jutsu . . ." Ikotsu murmured in a monotone voice, this exam was not what his true instructors had proclaimed it to be. Seven perfect, intangible clones phased into existence all around him. Both the instructors raised their eyebrows at this. Iruka looked at the boy in wonder, he never showed up for class yet his chakra control was flawless and his ninjutsu perfect. He regretted not knowing that the Renga boy had such skill, he would have forced him to come to class more often.

"Pass!" the senseis declared and Iruka left to bring in the next examinee. The Renga boy left the room when they told him that he was free to go home or chat with his friends.

Ikotsu _Uzumaki_ was confused beyond belief, this wasn't a genjutsu, but yet nothing seemed right, he knew no one, and things looked different than normal. What was going on! He walked out of the academy and climbed up the tree with a swing on it to think; this tree was his spot to think, he had declared so when he was ten, but it seemed smaller than normal, _younger_. As he sat in its branches he looked towards the academy; the parents of the kids he did not recognize were congratulating their offspring on passing. It was then that he noticed the parent's glares in his general direction,why were they glaring at him? He followed their eyes and looked down at the swing hanging from his thinking tree. There was a boy about his age there, with blond hair, looking downcast, their stares were focusing on him. Not one to stay quiet in these situations Ikotsu decided to make conversation.

"Hey kid, what's eatin' ya?" the blond haired youth jumped at the sound and looked up at him, first in fear and then in sadness. _What's with those eyes, they look like dad's eyes._

"I failed again this year," the blue eyed boy answered, his voice heavy with defeat "couldn't make the damn bunshin . . ."

"Personally, and this is my opinion, bunshin are useful, but they can't compare to kage bunshin," the boy looked up at him, his ears pricked up.

"Kage bunshin?" he asked, not understanding, but the name sounded cool.

"Hai, kage bunshin, not the slightest chakra control required to make 'em, but they take TONS of chakra," Ikotsu replied "then again I have almost none, so maybe not _tons, _but they take a bit."

"How do you make them?"

"Like this," he formed the cross-seal and a single clone poofed into existence; he suddenly felt extremely, but shook it off.

It took a while, almost a whole hour, before the boy could get it right, but when he _did_ the whole tree was covered in blonds.

"THANKS SO MUCH MISTER-um, what's your name?" the boy shouted energetically, before lowering his volume with his question.

"What's yours?" Ikotsu replied, twisting his pinky finger in his deafened right ear.

"Uzumaki Naruto! I'm going to be Hokage some day!" that statement almost made Ikotsu fall from his perch, before he replied.

"Uzu . . . Renga Ikotsu, nice to meet you," he said, stretching out his hand. Naruto took it, grinning, someone had accepted him! Renga Ikotsu looked up to the Hokage monument in the background, there were only four faces . . .

**A/N: So this is pretty much the prologue to my story, and this is about the uniform (hopefully) length of my chapters too. If you feel somewhat confused as to the concept, then please read, or watch, The Devil's Arithmetic, or look its summary up. The idea of the book is that the descendant of a holocaust survivor is sent back in time to relive its terrors; she knew what was going to happen and tried to warn people, but they didn't listen. **

**It would also make me happy if you would review with constructive criticism, complaints, questions, compliments, so that I can in turn make you happy with a better story.  
**


	2. Drifter Nin of Konoha

**Yo! I'm making the second addition now. I received quite a few Favorite Story Alerts, I hope that those readers would take the liberty to review on chapters in the future. So, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: I do not, and probably never will, own Naruto, some amazing manga artist does.**

". . . jounin Hatake Kakashi, your genin team will be comprised of: Sasuke Uchiha, Uzumaki Naruto, and Haruno Sakura. Do you accept these students as your charges?" Sarutobi Hiruzen asked a certain silver-haired scarecrow. This was the meeting where the jounin, though some chunin were present, would be assigned to their genin teams; thankfully only three teams had graduated, narrowing the chances of being placed over a bunch of brats. Unfortunately, a black cat had crossed Kakashi's path and thus his luck had turned bad. Damn the cat. In all truth Kakashi liked being a regular jounin, gave him time to read his porn, but when duty calls . . .

"Hai, I'll do my best, though I can't guarantee how good that is," the newly appointed jounin sensei sighed, his uncovered eye drooping. But there was a good side, at least he got some interesting people for his team; there was a rumor that the dead-last Uzumaki boy had been passed at the last minute by his instructor, Umino Iruka, because of his capture of a traitor-nin. From the rumors it seemed that Mizuki had been taken into custody with a TON of bruises all over his body and two sets of broken ribs; that Naruto was a beast in terms of power!

"BE OF GOOD CHEER, MY ETERNAL RIVAL, FOR YOU TOO SHALL FAN THE FLAMES OF YOUTH IN SMALL CHILDREN!" a madman with a bowl-cut hairdo, and eyebrows the size of mt. Fuji, cried out to his hip "depressed" rival in his nice-guy pose. Kakashi sweat-dropped.

"Is there an echo in here?" the masked nin asked out of the blue.

"YOU'RE ATTITUDE IS TOO HIP KAKASHI!" Gai clenched his eyes shut, making his brows look even BIGGER, as tears spewed forth.

"Moving on to team 8," the third Hokage yelled slightly, regaining the attention of those present "Yuhi Kurenai, your team will consist of Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, and Hyuuga Hinata. Do you accept these as your students?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama, I will do my best," a woman with glinting red eyes and long brown hair stepped forward. Sarutobi inwardly sighed, this day was just beginning.

"Now that that's taken care of, I would like to addr-" the Third was cut off.

"If I may, Hokage-sama, there is one student that has yet to be assigned to a team," Iruka, one of the chunin present, called out. He had seen the Renga boy's test, an almost perfect score minus a point for the ridiculous joke in the timeline in his history section; there were only four Hokages so far, yet the boy had listed seven and even went so far as to say that the third was killed in the chunin exams by Orochimaru. Preposterous!

"That was actually what I was going to address, Iruka-san." The Third turned to the jounin sensei present "Which jounin sensei would be willing to take on another member? It would seem that a presumed dropout from the academy had returned and passed the final exam; his name is Ikotsu Renga, his skills would be wasted if he were sent back to the academy now." _And he wouldn't be able to help Naruto progress, _the Third recalled seeing the Renga boy teaching Naruto through his crystal ball. A low chatter rose among the jounin; for many it was enough just teaching three students, and now they were being asked if they would take on a fourth?

"What's he look like?" a mister Asuma Sarutobi asked.

"What's he specialize in?" Kurenai asked. Some of the jounin were beginning to come around, checking to see how the Renga boy would fit into their teams.

"I don't know him all too well, but he has extremely high chakra control for his age." Iruka answered, after receiving a nod from the Hokage. A few more jounin were interested now.

"YOSH! I WILL-" You-know-who was cut off.

"If I may, Hokage-sama, why not just assign him as a drifter-nin. One that moves to whichever team needs them at the time." the perpetrator, Hatake Kakashi, suggested, figuring his solution might just get rid of the whole problem. The Third put on a thoughtful face, going over the idea in his head; Ikotsu was an unstable child, his psychological records clearly stated it, he needed stability, not jumping from team to team. The drifter-nin idea had been done in the past, when no jounin could take on four students for a definite period of time, but the genin involved was usually not in Ikotsu's position. Then an idea popped into the old man's head, just assign him where he'll work well and the jounin instructor will likely decide to keep him on their team. Perfect!

"A good idea, jounin Kakashi, and as it was your idea, you will be the first" _and hopefully only _"sensei over genin Renga Ikotsu. This meeting is adjourned!" the Hokage made a quick end to it, shuffling out of the meeting before anyone could protest, his inner demon (yes, even old men have them) cackling madly at his craftiness. Dilema: solved!

(Square!)

Ikotsu Uzumaki, Renga for now, had a LOT to think about, the first being the current year. He'd done the math, he would be formally born in eleven years, and would have been taking the genin exam in twenty three years. Long story short, he was in the past; some wicked stuff sake is. The second thing, that he now was excessively worrying about, was the fact that he had taught his future dad the kage bunshin technique, meaning that he wouldn't learn it from the forbidden scroll, therefore changing what had happened last night. If Naruto didn't learn kage bunshin from the scroll, then what did he learn? Hopefully nothing bad with serious repercussions . . .

Naruto Uzumaki had just awoken after the best night ever! He had just graduated from the academy, had just been accepted by another person who had taught him the technique that had enabled his graduation, and today he would be an official shinobi of the leaf! Life was good to say the least. He scurried around his rundown apartment in excitement, gathering his "Awesome Ninja Gear" and putting on his orange jumpsuit, before jumping out the door and taking off toward the academy.

"Alright I will sir, have a good one, thanks!" Ikotsu said among the bustle of Konoha's business district. He had just bought a nice blue jacket and a new set of dark grey ninja pants; what the original Renga boy had worn was borderline wearable, but he really liked the feel of a blue jacket. Just then he saw a flash of orange through the morning crowd, he decided to follow.

Naruto was almost late, not that he would have cared any other day, but he was too excited to get there early, just for today. He passed quickly through the business district, ignoring the choice glare, and was nearly a block away when he heard a friendly voice.

"Hey, Naruto!" He turned to find his new friend Ikotsu jogging toward him from behind. He flashed his signature grin and slowed for Ikotsu to catch up. "So, did your instructor pass you?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Naruto was about to surprise his friend with the news, but that notion was put out.

"Ano . . . lucky guess?" he replied, trying not to sound suspicious and would have been failing if he were talking to anyone else.

"Cool! Wish I could guess like that!" Ikotsu sweat dropped. Was his dad that dense as a kid? Apparently.

"Some day, my friend, some day . . ."

(Squiggly!)

"Team seven: Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki . . ." a certain Hyuuga girl crossed her fingers in anticipation "and Sakura Haruno. Your jounin sensei will be Hatake Kakashi, please take a seat and wait for him." the Hyuuga uncrossed her fingers in defeat as the final name was called, it wasn't her . . .

"Team eight: Kiba Inuzuka, Hinata Hyuuga, and Shino Aburame. Please wait for your jounin sensei, Yuhi Kurenai. Team ten: Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akamichi, and Ino Yamanaka. Please wait for your sensei Asuma Sarutobi. Those are the teams." a very tired Iruka listed; his wound from that giant shuriken last night hadn't let him sleep at all.

"Ano, excuse me sensei, but what team am I on? I didn't catch my name on any of those," Ikotsu asked from the back of the class. Iruka sighed, remembering what he had forgotten.

"Gomen, you, Ikotsu Renga, are hearby assigned as a drifter-nin of Konoha." There, he said it. Now for the question. Oh, his back hurt!

"Drifter-nin? What's that?"

"It's a ninja that can't be taken in by any one team, so they drift from team to team until a position is found for them," _Usually if someone dies and leaves a vacancy on their team,_ Iruka mentally added "Your current temporary sensei will be Hatake Kakashi, please wait with your current team mates." Ikotsu nodded, this wasn't something he was aware happened, but it could have been worse . . .

(T-block!)

The other teams had left hours ago, but team seven still remained; it seemed an even longer a wait than Ikotsu's dad had described. Ikotsu remembered his future dad's description of Kakashi, "a laid back, lazy, man that was always late and made up crappy excuses for it" (of course he left out his father's foul language), and the man was living up to it so far. Naruto was sitting at a desk, swishing his legs back and forth, Sasuke was having a glaring contest with the window (neither side showed any signs of giving in), and Sakura was watching him. Ikotsu was writing down some sort of theory down on a piece of paper.

"Soooooo, booored!" Naruto whined, Ikotsu looked up from his paper, Sasuke raised an eyebrow (still glaring at the window), and Sakura promptly told him to shut up. He did, but stuck a chalk eraser in the doorway afterward. About five minutes later, steps were heard down the hall and the door slid open. Poof! A now chalk covered Kakashi stuck his head into the room.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura, Naruto, and Ikotsu shouted, Sasuke gave an irritated "hn".

"Yes well, you see, I saw a black cat and had to take a detour around it," Lame excuse, check. Laid back personality, check. This was the man.

"FOR FOUR HOURS!" the first two hollered, Sasuke and Ikotsu raised an eyebrow at him.

"My first impression of you . . . I hate you." Kakashi stated flatly, and randomly "Meet me on the roof in five minutes," he poofed out of existence. There was a dead silence in the air before the order registered and everyone except Ikotsu, who used shunshin, broke into a mad dash for the roof.

When the "team" had assembled on the roof, Kakashi was waiting for them.

"This is when you all tell us a bit about yourselves, y'know, to get to know each other." Kakashi explained, looking over the four genin he had been saddled with. Freakin' Hokage . . .

"Like?" Ikotsu, Sakura, and Naruto asked in unison, even using the same hand gestures to punctuate the question.

"Would you stop doing that, it's freaking me ou-never mind. Your likes, dislikes, and dreams for the future. For example: I'm Hatake Kakashi, my likes . . . my business, my dislikes . . . none of your business, and dreams for the future . . . hmm, never really thought about it." Kakashi eye-smiled for the last part.

"You forgot to say that you like porn." Ikotsu inserted, his team mates turned to him with looks of dismay on most of their faces. _Is it that obvious? _Kakashi wondered, his face looking impassive.

"YOU, don't say that about people out of the blue!" Sakura chided him, not actually remembering his name.

"But it's true!"

"Anyway!" Kakashi broke their "interesting" conversation over his habits, before pointing to Naruto "You first, tell us a bit about yourself."

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto, I like Sakura-chan, my friends, and ramen. I dislike the three minutes it takes to make instant ramen, and Sasuke-teme. My dream is to become Hokage and make everyone acknowledge me!" Naruto shouted the last piece with gusto. Kakashi pointed to Ikotsu next.

"Ano, my name is Renga Ikotsu, I like history, chakra control exercises, and challenges—AND cinnamon buns, love cinnamon buns! And ramen, dango's good too . . ." the group sweat dropped at his sudden outburst about food "Umm, I don't really dislike things other than people that don't listen, and people that purposefully don't think straight. My dream, ano, well, uhh . . ." An idea suddenly flashed through Ikotsu's head "I guess I'm gonna be this guy's right hand man when he becomes Hokage." Ikotsu said, wrapping his arm around Naruto's shoulder, in a brotherly way, and shaking him lightly.

" . . .You really mean it?" Naruto asked, almost dismayed at his new friend's acclamation.

"Ehehehe, sure!" Ikotsu said, scratching the back of his head. Kakashi paused a bit, and then pointed to Sakura.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, I like . . ." she glanced at Sasuke "I DISLIKE Naruto, and my dream for the future is . . ." (guess where she looked) Sakura said before sitting down next to Sasuke, much to his dislike, though he pretended not to acknowledge her presence. And finally, Kakashi pointed to Sasuke.

"My name's Uchiha Sasuke, I dislike a lot of things, and like whatever I don't dislike. My dream-no, goal is to revive my clan . . . and kill a certain man . . ." he left off dramatically, all but one of the five present widened their eyes slightly.

"Ok, now that that's taken care of, meet me tomorrow at five in the morning, and don't eat any breakfast . . . you'll probably throw up . . ." their new sensei said, ominously, before there was a loud poof as he shunshin'ed away. There was a pregnant pause as the fresh genin took in his last words before Naruto turned to Ikotsu.

"So Kakashi-sensei likes porn?" Sakura whapped the side of his head with her fist, but turned to Ikotsu for the answer, looking curious.

"A hundred Ryo says that he whips out a perverted novel before the end of the week, I'll pay if I lose."

"YOUR ON!" Naruto and Sakura said in unison, placing their hopes on their sensei; they would be disappointed . . .

**So yeah, this is more of a filler chapter, the genin test with Kakashi will be next. **

**I hope that you noticed that I never specified what Naruto learned from the Forbidden Scroll, that's where you readers come in. I can't decide on any one technique and would rather not Naruto had all of them; I don't like the ridiculously super-powered Naruto stories either. Therefore, I propose a poll!**

**Option 1: Shu Soku Bakufu (Focusing Blast), it's a high powered tunnel of focused chakra that blasts through the air. It's pretty much the Kame-hame-ha of the Naruto-verse. It was forbidden because of its tendency to drain the user's chakra, sometimes killing them, so Naruto would only be able to use it once or twice in a fight.**

**Option 2: Kami Kaze (Divine Wind), a pressurized gust of wind that, if the user has enough control to focus it, can cut through steel. It was forbidden in the second ninja war due to the wave's inability to stop until it runs out of residual chakra, therefore making it a hazard to friendly troops in the immediate area.**

**Option 3: Tonshi (Sudden death), a rush technique that disperses chakra throughout the body for a short, but extreme, boost in speed and power. The user generally feels tired afterward and the risk factor of breaking bones and tearing muscles is high.**

**Option 4: If you feel like you can do better, then please do tell me your idea. Give me a reason why it was forbidden though. And it would be nice if you would tell me what you would choose out of the three previous for your second choice.**

**I accept anonymous reviews, so even if you don't have an account, or you don't want to expose yourself, you can still give input. Ja ne!  
**


	3. From the Jaws of Defeat

**Hi guys! These weeks have been pretty hectic: in summary, I had 4 tests (three of which are finals), and 3 papers to write. So why am I writing this on top of all that? One simple phrase: stress relief. I am also going to start putting english techniques names in parenthesis next to their Japanese names, I do apologize for any false Japanese spelling.**

**_Italics = thought_  
**

**The poll from last chapter has been as such:**

**Shu Soku Bakufu – 1**

**Kami Kaze – 1**

**Tonshi – 0**

**Create your own – 0**

**So I will not be bringing in any of the forbidden techniques this chapter. I hope someone feels like voting to break the tie.**

**Disclaimer: Meh . . . I own nothing, not even my textbooks.**

**On with the chapter!**

The Genin Test

The first to arrive at training ground seven was Sasuke, in all his brooding glory, at four fifteen. He made a quick sweep of the area, familiarizing himself with the territory of his test. Training ground seven was not exactly the perfect spot, but it did have all types of terrain: a stream, a bit of brush, surrounding woodland, and a small flat plain of dust. This would be the perfect place for whatever was to come, so many places the fight could be taken to.

Sakura was the second to arrive, at four forty, and was quick to take a seat on the grass next to the Uchiha prodigy. She kept silent, to keep the serenity of the scene, only Sasuke-kun and herself were present. _A beautiful pre-dawn scene together, _Sakura gazed dreamily at the boy next to her. He felt her gaze, but showed now emotion; _She's just a fangirl, ignore her!_

The minutes ticked by and the sun grew higher above the Hokage Monument. It was at this golden hour, five fifteen, that a certain blond knuckle-head trudged into view, a sleepy smile on his whiskered face.

"You're late!" Sakura yelled, forgetting the silence previous. Something donned upon Naruto due to Sakura's words.

"Oh no! I'm not to late, am I? Did you already take the test? Did I miss it? Will I not become a ge-" the blond youth sputtered quickly, insane assumptions tearing through his hopes and dreams. _I'll never be a ninja, I'll never be Hokage-_

"W-why would we still be here if we had taken the test? BAKA!" Sakura smacked him on the back of his head, the force bore him to the ground. Sasuke glared at a bush.

"Oh good, I thought I'd missed it. Thanks Sakura-chan!" Naruto had a look of pure relief on his face as he got up. The bubble-gum haired girl was tempted to hit him again for calling her "-chan", but what good would it do? They all sat for a while, Sasuke glaring at a bush the whole time, Sakura watching Sasuke glare at the bush, and Naruto glaring at Sasuke for getting Sakura's attention. It went on like that until about nine o'clock.

"Sensei sure is late . . ." Naruto started, his voice glum, his stomach empty. The other two were about to nod, but then thought better of it. Since when was the Dobe ever right? It was then that the group realized that one more person was missing.

"Hey, where's that one guy?" The pink haired genin turned to her two team mates; she still didn't remember her third teammate's name, and with good reason, she hadn't seen him before yesterday. Sasuke's glare at the bush intensified, if possible, and Naruto shrugged but at the same time wondered.

"I haven't seen him," Naruto gave his input. Sasuke didn't much care, but something about that bush bothered him. The bush seemed to twitch, to anyone that was watching.

" . . ." Sasuke narrowed his eyes, the bush moved again.

"WOULD YOU STOP STARING AT ME!" All of the sudden, the bush puffed up in smoke, and in its place stood Ikotsu, pointing and yelling at Sasuke, who had been looking his way the whole time. Naruto and Sakura jumped, surprised at the sudden appearance and outburst, Sasuke smirked.

"You! What were you doing there?" Sakura yelled, pointing at Ikotsu. Naruto was in a likewise position.

"Endurance, wondered how long I could hold a henge (transformation)." Ikotsu answered like it was the most common thing in the world, walking over to sit next to his team. In all truth, he couldn't sleep the night before, mulling over the question that had popped up in his mind so many times. Why was he here, in this time? He was born in the future, wouldn't his destiny be in the future? These thoughts had plagued his mind for hours upon hours, so he finally decided to get his mind off of things by training. So far, it hadn't done anything to ease his mind.

"You're late!" Ikotsu's thoughts were interrupted by a screeching banshee with pink hair.

"Technically, I was here before all of you. So why am I late?"

They waited, waited, and waited some more. All were hungry by the time the sun was well into the sky. Ikotsu had heard this story dozens of times from his dad and knew that they were going to be starved, but he didn't feel like eating anyway. If his dad could survive it, then so could he. Around eleven o'clock they caught sight of their sensei, walking lazily with his hands laced behind his head toward them from the road.

"You're late!" they all chimed at Kakashi, even Sasuke.

"Ah, sorry, I got lost on the road of life." The new Genin sweat dropped.

"Wow, for a second I thought you were going to say something cool . . . like putting out a fire, or catching an assassin. My mistake." Ikotsu stated dryly, sarcasm dripping from his voice, before shrugging.

"On to today's test," Kakashi switched the conversation in a new direction, pulling out two silver bells attached to strings from his green vest. "Your goal is to take these bells from me. If you get them, you pass."

"Excuse me, Sensei, but there are only two bells." Sakura started, a hypothesis already forming in her head.

"Exactly, those who fail will be tied to these stumps here-" he gestured towards three thick wooden polls jutting from the grassy earth ", will watch as I eat lunch in front of them," team seven realized why he had said not to eat breakfast "and will be sent back to the academy."

The fresh genin tensed, and each began to eye the other. Two unlucky boys or girl were screwed anyway you put it.

"I've set the timer for twelve o'clock," the silver haired cyclops started, setting an alarm clock on a stump along with two store-bought bento. "If you want these bells you must come at me with intent to kill," he warned, raising his hand "Ready . . ."

Naruto, in his infinite wisdom, charged the masked nin, drawing a kunai from the holster on his calf. In two seconds, maybe less, Naruto was caught in a bind, his hand held behind his head.

"Never rush into a situation blindly; there's a big difference from bravery and stupidity, y'know," Kakashi looked at each of his charges "Plus, I haven't even said start yet. But you do understand the intent to kill. I think I might be starting to like you guys . . ."

"Now, for real this time," He released his hold on the blond "Ready? . . . START!"

(T-block)

From the second the timer clicked the genin took of like speeding bullets, each in their own direction. Except Naruto, he stood firmly where he had started, arms crossed, face impassive. He just stood there, outraged from his humiliation in front of Sakura-chan. So Kakashi decided to check up on his other students.

_Stealth is key in the Ninja occupation,_ Kakashi recited to himself as he looked around. There was Sasuke, _good, _after a few seconds of scanning he soon found a trace of pink under another bush, _Good. _But where was the other one? Kakashi traced the area for chakra signatures, the overflowing beacon was Naruto, _he'd better get moving soon, _the slightly lesser flow was Sasuke's, and then there was the small trace that was Sakura's. _Where the hell is that kid? No one can hide their chakra completely at that age! _Kakashi sighed, best let it be for now, and began to move toward Naruto's beacon of chakra, which had still not moved.

As soon as Naruto caught site of his opponent he charged, not to be caught off guard this time.

Kakashi sighed as he saw Naruto coming, _what's the point in trying with this kid? _He reached for his pouch.

Naruto caught his enemy's move for their pouch. _A weapon! _He drew a kunai to combat whatever weapon his Sensei would use. Right as he was nearly ten feet away the masked man's "weapon" was unleashed: a book with an orange cover, worn from years of hands flipping its pages. Naruto stopped, dumbfounded.

"What's wrong, weren't you going to attack?" Kakashi asked, provoking the poor kid, as he opened to his bookmark.

"W-what's with the book? Fight me fair and square!" Naruto, thoroughly incensed, bellowed, raising his kunai in a crappy version of the academy stance.

"No, this is fine. You won't be hitting me either way. Think of this as a lesson in Taijutsu, hand to hand fighting." Kakashi put up his free hand in his own lazy stance. The blond jumped a him, he dodged. The boy punched viciously, he dodged and then decided to block the last one for moral support. The kid made twelve shadow clones, they charged, he performed a kawarimi (replacement) and watched, amused, from his peripheral vision as they beat each other up think he'd used a henge (transformation).

Needless to say that this was the climax of Kakashi's book, Mishi was about to confess to Kobi when . . . Kobi suddenly said that he hated Mishi and never wanted to see her again! _Nonononononono! THIS ISN'T RIGHT! _It was then that Kakashi barely detected a slight tingling in his eyes, _Genjutsu! Kai!_ He cut off his chakra and the words returned to their original splendor, he felt breath behind him and saw Ikotsu looking over his shoulder at his book.

"HA! A PERVY NOVEL! NARUTO, SAKURA, YOU BOTH OWE ME A HUNDRED RYOU!" _So that's where he was, _Kakashi thought to himself, _hundred ryou? No-it doesn't matter, you nearly ruined the WHOLE story! _

_"_UNFORGIVABLE! Konoha Secret Finger Technique-" Kakashi bellowed, rage overtaking him as he reappeared behind the little monster who had placed a genjutsu on his PRECIOUS, forming the forbidden seal with two fingers pointing outwards "THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN!"

Ikotsu smiled, one word leaving his mouth as the fingers began their charge: "Boom". Kakashi registered the word and regained his senses just in time for him to avoid the blast from an explosive tag that had been placed on the ground behind him by the sneaky kid. When the smoke cleared the boy was gone, undetectable once more. Ikotsu Renga would avoid getting his ass jabbed for another day.

(Reverse-Squiggly **A/N: these line breaks are just random**)

"Gah! Which one's really Kakashi-sensei?" a Naruto clone said before engaging in a struggle with another Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone).

"We'll just have to dispel each other until we find out!" another Kage Bunshin decided.

"Hey, why don't we just dispel the jutsu?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER!" the whole half dozen that were left shouted, there was a large puff of smoke as the jutsu dispelled, leaving only one beat up Naruto. He looked around frantically for his opponent, but realized that he'd been taken for a ride. Just then, there was a little glint on the ground ahead. _A bell! Kakashi-sensei must have dropped it in his fight with me! Yatta! _Just as the poor blond reached for his prize there was an audible snap, and he found himself hanging upside down with his legs bound.

"Ninja must look underneath the underneath," the silver haired jounin said as he walked out from behind the tree and picked up the fallen bell.

"Grrr . . . I know that!" the blond yelled, rocking back and forth on the rope trap.

"I don't think you do . . ." the masked nin replied before a hail of kunai and shuriken flew from the cover of the bushes, each homing in with practiced accuracy. They all found their target, or at least seemed to, to the genin watching. Naruto looked on as his "sensei" fell to the earth, pronounced dead by the sense of sight.

"Sasuke! You overdid it!" Naruto screamed at the bushes in Sasuke's direction. Just then their "dead" sensei exploded in a puff of smoke, revealing a heavily impaled log.

_Crap! I thought he let his guard down! Now he knows where I am! _Sasuke cursed his foolishness as he rushed through the woods, scrambling to find a new position.

_Hmm . . . found him . . . _Kakashi watched from the bushes, before turning. He heard new footsteps now, less concealed, but not as rash as Naruto's. _Sakura, _he affirmed, deciding to take care of her first.

A few moments of silence graced training area seven.

Then there was a blood curdling scream.

_Must have caught her in a genjutsu, _Sasuke took a moment to rest in a clearing, _no wonder she got caught, same with Naruto._ Sasuke sensed a presence and tensed, readying himself for anything, before relaxing slightly. It was a weak beacon; it must have been at _least_ a hundred meters away. He turned and found himself face to face with the other idiot in his team, the one with blue hair. He was standing at _most _a hundred centimeters away.

"Surprise . . ." the boy said in a monotone voice, but with a slight smile. If Sasuke were not the level headed genius that he was he would have jumped, instead he widened his eyes slightly.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke hissed.

"A question better put from me to you. I was here first."

"I'm getting the bells."

"There are fifteen minutes left on the clock. I just checked. You think you can get them in that time?"

"Of course!" the Uchiha prodigy retorted.

"Uh-huh . . . well, if you need some help, I'll be right here."

"Why are you just staying here? Don't you want to pass?" Sasuke was wondering why he even bothered asking; he wanted to pass even if they didn't!

"I'm exhausted . . ." The green eyed male sighed just to prove his point.

"Well, I'm going to get a bell. I'm not like you, I'm going to pass this test!" there was a hint of arrogance in the raven haired boy's voice, and he knew it, but the second idiot of his team just didn't get it.

"Y'know, you should probably say that after you get a bell." There was a swirl of leaves and there stood their jounin instructor, his porn tucked safely in his hand. The two boys jumped into their respective stances-well, Sasuke was, Ikotsu looked more like he was praying.

In the blink of an eye Sasuke was off, speeding toward his enemy. He hurled a volley of shuriken and, as Kakashi dodged, threw a kunai knife to cut a piece of twine in the bushes; another volley flew from their springs in the trees. Kakashi dodged that too, but in a spur of motion Sasuke was behind him, lashing out in a midair roundhouse kick. Kakashi barely caught that. Sasuke wound his arm in a punch at the man's face. Kakashi caught that too. Then the Uchiha's second leg slammed toward him; there was a "klank" of metal as he caught that on his arm guard. Then the broody kid smirked and lashed out with his hand for the bells; Kakashi jumped back just in time for the boy only to touch the bell.

Then there was a jingling sound as a second assailant came from behind and grabbed at the bells. Kakashi narrowly avoided Ikotsu's dive for his bells, the boy only managing to touch them as well. _Does it ever end? _Kakashi asked himself, he felt a chakra spike, _apparently not._

_"_Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Technique)!" Sasuke pulled chakra to his lungs, took a deep breath, and let out a huge whoosh of air, which condensed and combusted into a huge blast of flame_, _burning a huge crater where his opponent stood. Then the flames subsided, and nothing was there! Sasuke turned looking in all directions, _behind? Above? No-_

_"_No, below!" Kakashi's voice clarified as a gloved hand shot up from the earth grabbing Sasuke's ankle and dragging him down into the soil till only his head was above the ground_. "_Doton (Earth Release) techniques are one of my specialties, attacking from where no one ever looks: below."

"An opening!" Kakashi's forgotten second opponent cried "Konoha Secret Finger Technique: Thousand Years of Pain! Also known as the ass jab technique you tried to use on me!"

Kakashi felt a prickling sensation go up his spine, coupled with discomfort from having-well, you know what I mean.

_Why can I not sense his chakra! I could have avoided that!_ was Kakashi's last thought before there was a sudden blast of chakra from the boy's hands, sending the silver haired man flying through the air.

"It's the simple things in life you treasure . . ." Ikotsu said, smiling to himself as he smacked his hands together in a dusting motion, walking over to Sasuke's head sticking out of the soil. He grabbed his teammate by the collar of his shirt and with one chakra induced pull, yanked the Uchiha from the earth. He then sat down, thoroughly exhausted from using so much chakra in one hour plus the time he'd been using a henge this morning.

Sasuke opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"Don't ever ask me to save your butt like that again. It's tiring and a pain." Ikotsu then lied down on the ground, wishing he could sleep at this time of day.

But then the bell rang . . .

(Square)

Four stomachs growled simultaneously, only two could do something about it. The four Genin's Sensei stood before them, his eyes boding of death.

"Hungry, eh?" Kakashi's eyes smiled, but his soul was still releasing killing intent. "There is some good news, though. I'm not sending you back to the academy . . ."

"Well that's good news, but why are Naruto and I the only one's tied to the stumps?" The killing intent increased to bone-chilling levels as Kakashi looked at Ikotsu and eye-smiled, the kind of smile that says "I'll kill you if you ask again".

"You mean we aren't going back? Yatta! This is great!" Naruto hollered happily from his position on the post, swinging his legs in joviality.

"Yes, you're not going back to the academy, because you should _all _just quit at being ninja!"

The words almost seemed to echo. _ Quit being ninja, quit being ninja, quit being ninja . . ._

"WHAT! WHY?" the orange clad blond shouted. Sasuke's eyes widened. Sakura was actually with Naruto on this one.

"Because you don't understand what being a ninja _is_! This is just an up-scaled game to you brats, and you don't even play it like a game!" Kakashi's words cut them to the core, and then some.

"What do you mean?"

"In your games what do you play in?" the man asked exasperatedly, _this is so simple! Yet they don't get it!_

"Teams," Ikotsu answered, looking up to the man, not realizing he'd been looking down.

_"Exactly! _Teamwork! If you had worked as a team, you would have taken these bells! Yet you split up, thinking you each were capable of doing it yourselves! Sakura, you had so many opportunities to help Naruto when he was struggling! Naruto, you just ran of and did your own thing! Sasuke, you just figured you could do it without help! Ikotsu . . ." the temperature suddenly dropped as the ranting man's gaze shifted to him "you just wandered around, helping only when it was convenient to you! You Genin have failed to see the most simple truth that Jounin are required to know in life or death situations. And for that, you fail!"

"Please, Sensei, give us another chance!" Sakura begged, if Sasuke failed it would be her fault!

"Hmm . . . One. More. Chance. You have another hour to get a bell. Eat those lunches to replenish your strength, but don't give any to Naruto _or_ Ikotsu; if you do, you fail! I'll be back!" and with that Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving the shaken team to let what he had just said set in.

The two non-tied team members set to work on opening their lunches, snapping apart the chop-sticks silently as they began to eat. Naruto's stomach growled as did Ikotsu's. Sasuke finished his mouthful, and held his bento out to Ikotsu. Sakura gasped.

"But Sasuke-kun, he could be back at any moment! Are you sure you want to risk this?"

"Giving us a speech about teamwork and then telling us not to help our teammates is a contradiction of his own words. In other words, a trick. If we don't feed them they will be weak with hunger and we'll fail anyway." Sasuke stated as Ikotsu smiled.

"This is going to sound really wrong, but my hands are tied so you might have to feed me. Just so's you know." Sasuke smirked and shoveled half of the food into Ikotsu's mouth as the boy choked as much as he could down. Sakura sat, pondering what Sasuke said, wondering if this risk was all right, but Sasuke was doing it . . .

"Here," She held her bento out to Naruto, the boys eyes watered.

"Sakura-chan . . ."

"Just eat it!" she said and began shoveling it in, in a fashion not un-similar to Sasuke's.

That was when things turned bad.

"YOU!" Enough killing intent to make a grown man scream like a little girl filled the air; the Genin cowered before their Sensei as the sky turned dark and lighting filled the clouds. Their angry Sensei was closing in, fast.

"PASS!" All of the sudden the anger and darkness were gone, replaced with a genuinely eye-smiling Jounin. "You ignored the rules to help your teammates. You pass. Now I'm not saying the point of this exercise is to break the rules, because it's not. Because those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are less than scum!"

He paused to let the news sink in.

_HECK YES! _Inner Sakura screamed.

"What a relief," Ikotsu sighed as he leaned back into the stump to which he was tied, he really thought he was going to die back there.

"YES, I'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING HOKAGE!" Ikotsu's stump mate cheered.

"Meet me at the Hokage building tomorrow at eight, we'll be receiving our first mission then. But, for now, let's go home." he said and began walking; the two free genin stood and followed. And this generally crappy day turned around . . .

(Line Piece)

" . . . Y'know, I could really go for a bowl of Ichiraku's," Naruto said, as the sunset bathed the land orange, turning to his stump buddy. Both stomachs growled.

"I could go for two . . ." Ikotsu moaned, leaning against the bindings holding them there. His stomach gurgled again.

"GAH, WHY DID THEY LEAVE US HERE!"

Those words echoed throughout the whole of Konoha as the sky began to darken . . .

**So this chapter is the length I hope to become the uniform length if not a little longer. As always, I am open to criticism (with cause), ideas, and just good ole compliments if you have any. Thus say I, review! **

**Ikotsu: You know you want to . . .  
**


	4. WHAT?

**Hallo! This is your author speaking: meh!**

**Seriously, the poll from chapter 2 stands until next chapter, I will choose one of the two tied techniques if no one will break the tie.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own the scores I got on my finals.**

" . . . Shadow, confirm position,"

"Confirmed, Window, I'm in position,"

"Sunshine, Sunset, confirm positions,"

"Affirmative,"

"Yeah, I'm here, Window"

"The target's position has been confirmed. Sunshine, Sunset, prepare to converge . . . ready? And . . . NOW!" Three shadows blurred through the trees, zeroing in on their target in a three pronged assault. There was a screech as the subject took off into the woods away from its attackers. "Shadow, the target has been flushed out, prepare to ambush!"

There was another screech through the woods, and then all was silent . . .

"Shadow, status report!"

There was nothing coming in over the com-link, just static . . .

"Shadow! Shadow! You can't be dead! You just can't!"

" . . . Shut up, Window, I'm not dead," Shadow's voice crackled over the headset, he grunted as if struggling, "Status: I am engaging the target!"

"Reinforcements are on their way, E.T.A. thirty seconds, hang in there Shadow," the three blurs of Window, Sunset, and Sunshine shot through the woods to help their comrade. They jumped from tree limb to tree limb with practiced accuracy, pulling every ounce of speed they could from their legs. They reached a clearing with signs of a struggle; Shadow stumbled from the bushes, scratch wounds littering his face and arms.

"Target has escaped," he stated; Window nodded and turned to Sunshine and Sunset.

"All units full frontal charge!" Four blurs took off into the forest, silently listening for a sound to give their target away. _snap! _There it was! They shot out of the trees and onto the bare forest ground, surrounding the bush that had betrayed their query.

Simultaneously they dived.

There was a screech . . .

(Reverse-Squiggly)

"Y'know, I hate that cat!" Ikotsu exclaimed as team seven exited the Hokage's tower after yet another successful cat capture. It was the third time this week! The others nodded in agreement. Sasuke had been scratched up pretty bad this time, so had Naruto but he healed.

"YEAH!" Naruto hated that cat even more than Ikotsu, and it hated him back.

"What were the code names for again?" Sakura asked; it was not that she didn't like being called Sunset, but why was Sasuke-kun named Shadow? He was a pure knight in her eyes; the name didn't fit!

"Tomorrow, let's ask for a better mission," Ikotsu said, knowing that tomorrow was the original date that Naruto had asked. Sakura didn't object to the idea, but didn't really back it either. Sasuke was burning with anticipation, but didn't show it on the outside.

"YOSH, we're going to ask next time! Believe it!"

" . . . On a different note, where's Sensei? He said he'd teach us after our mission." Sakura wondered aloud.

"He's either reading his porn, or nursing his butt-hehe!" Ikotsu answered, thinking back to the gennin test and laughing, this elicited a smirk from Sasuke, who had been there at the time. A puff of smoke appeared right in front of them on the road; when the dust cleared they could make out the silhouette of Hatake Kakashi.

"Yo. I'll be training you now, so hurry up to training ground seven," In another poof Kakashi was gone. The genin took off towards the training fields; they had learned quickly to register commands, Kakashi had emphasized that after once watching them take several seconds for things to click in their brains.

They arrived in a rush, Sakura and Ikotsu collapsing from temporary exhaustion, to find their sensei standing there, reading his lewd book.

"So whatcha gonna teach us today?" Naruto yelled, clearly excited.

"I'm gonna teach you how to dispel genjutsu, how's that sound?" Kakashi stated, eye smiling, but inside just the thought of genjutsu would remind him of Ikotsu's trick during the genin exams. Inspired by this, Kakashi decided to pass the knowledge of dispelling genjutsu to his students so that they would never have to experience what he experience. _The horror . . ._

"Aww, c'mon teach us something useful!"

"It _is_ useful!" Kakashi stated, pushing his point before turning to Ikotsu, "Ikotsu, I believe you have a knowledge of genjutsu, care to demonstrate for Naruto?"

"_Sure _Sensei . . . " Ikotsu made the horse seal while looking at Naruto. All of the sudden Naruto saw himself before Ichiraku's, the scents, the aromas, the heavenly smell of ramen wafting up to his nostrils; he went to walk to the counter, but found himself rooted to the spot. He looked and found himself chained to an iron ball the size of the Hokage Monument. His stomach rumbled, but he knew he had eaten twelve cups of ramen for breakfast this morning, and he moved to get to the little ramen stand that meant so much to him, but could not budge the giant weight behind him.

"Nooooooooo!" Naruto screamed as he woke up, finding himself on the ground, his stomach still semi full, and his teammates surrounding him.

"Now do you see?" Kakashi asked. His blond student turned to him, tears in his eyes.

"Yes sensei, I will never doubt your teaching again!"

" . . . Now then, Ikotsu will you demonstrate to the rest of us, and please, nothing traumatizing," Kakashi asked Ikotsu, the blue jacketed boy nodded and formed the bird seal. The scene shifted, the ground dissolving, the air thickening and twisting. Now the whole group stood in a field of flowers, the sun shining brightly off of the dew on their leaves; many fresh and soft aromas drifted to the group's nostrils. The group was astonished, Sakura touching a flower and feeling its velvet petals, Naruto looking at the sparkling dew with awe, and Sasuke looking upon it all with bitter remembrance of Itachi's Tsukoyomi. Kakashi was impressed, Kurenai would _kill_ to have this kid on her team; it's one thing to manipulate sight and sound, but smell and other bodily functions like hunger and touch were signs of a master of the art.

"Now, since you already know the basis of genjutsu, Ikotsu, why don't you explain how to dispel it." Kakashi figured that the kid could teach the others well enough, so now he could go back to reading his book. Ikotsu smirked as Kakashi reached into his pouch to grab his porn, but found the pouch empty.

"Genjutsu is a high chakra control type of technique that is made to manipulate the signals sent your brain. Like right now I am sending the signals for the smell of roses and thyme to your brains, but in reality you're smelling dirt and grass. You see a field of flowers, but you truly are standing in the middle of a dirt road. You hear me talking, but I'm not really saying a thing." Ikotsu explained, loving the feeling of omniscience he had.

"Um, sensei? Wait . . . 'sensei'," Sakura clapped her hands around her mouth, trying to figure out why she had called her teammate teacher.

"Ah, now I'm fiddling with a different part of your brain, whispering the idea in your head that I am the teacher here," Ikotsu smiled, feeling really good about himself, "Don't worry, it'll go away when I'm done. Anyhow, what I'm supposed to be teaching you to do is how to dispel genjutsu, so here goes: genjutsu is using chakra to send signals to your brain, so to dispel it you need to temporarily stop the flow of chakra. Beginners use the tiger seal to gain a bit more control over their chakra. Ready. Go!"

The command registered a little slow, but when it did the whole team formed the tiger seal and said "kai!". Almost immediately the landscape bubbled and returned to its original glory: a small dirt road. Except for Naruto, he still saw the scene of flowers.

"It's not working!" he cried out to Ikotsu, no longer seeing his two other teammates or sensei, for they had dissapeared. Ikotsu "hmm'ed", but snapped his fingers as a little light bulb went off in his head.

"Aha! Sorry about that, there is a second way that you can do more easily. Form the tiger seal, but this time flood your system with chakra." Ikotsu remembered that his dad had tons of chakra and very low control. Naruto nodded and closed his eyes in concentration. The scenery did not bubble for him . . . it exploded, ripping away like tissue paper and leaving behind the dirt road and his teammates staring at him.

"Congratulations, you have now dispelled your first genjutsu-well, hopefully your first, it would be awkward if you had already done this . . ." Ikotsu left off.

"I was taught how, but never actually did it, this is my first," Sakura confirmed; Kakashi muttered something like "that's what she said" in the back ground, reading his orange adult book.

Sasuke was about to say that he'd been caught in his brother's genjutsu, but not many people were privy to that information and he intended to keep it that way.

"Nope, my first too," Ikotsu's blond father-to-be-in-eleven-years said.

"Well that's good, because you're going to be learning how to detect and break my genjutsu for the next hour . . ." His fellow genin groaned . . .

(Square)

"So how is your team coming along?" the Third Hokage asked Kakashi; the silver haired jounin had been summoned while Ikotsu was in the middle of training his comrades. In all truth the Third was a bit worried about the young drifter-nin, which was understandable seeing as the Third cared for everyone in his village and wanted to make sure everyone was safe.

"They're an interesting bunch," Kakashi replied lazily, knowing that the old man wanted more information than that.

"How's Naruto?"

"He'll do."

"How is Sasuke?"

"Broody as ever,"

"Sakura?"

"Still got the fangirl spirit."

"What about-"

"Ikotsu? Hokage-sama, I honestly don't know what I can do for him. He has obscene chakra control and average endurance. During the genin test I couldn't sense his chakra, it's almost as if he has no signature, and he got the closest to getting my bells. I don't know if there's anything that I can teach him besides taijutsu-if even that. He'd be better on team eight, where his skills will be put to better use, Hokage-sama." Kakashi knew that Ikotsu was the Hokage's concern; he'd asked about Naruto the day before, so why would he ask again? The old man stroked his beard thoughtfully, maybe Kakashi was right?

"I will make my decision tomorrow, Kakashi. Have your team meet here for their mission," the aged Hokage said.

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Kakashi said before disappearing in a puff of smoke . . .

(Line Piece)

Team seven met at their training ground the next day for a little morning exercise, first running through the tree tops and then sitting down for some sit ups. Naruto and Sasuke were currently competing to see who could do the most; Sakura cheered for Sasuke while Ikotsu watched and cheered for whoever was losing. Kakashi watched the scene reminiscing back to his genin days and rivalry with Obito. Sasuke and Naruto both collapsed on their backs, their scores tied at one hundred and forty seven.

"Alright, now that you've finished your warm-ups we'll move on to a little taijutsu practice," Naruto groaned while Sasuke caught his breath, eager for more training. "Sakura, you'll be facing Naruto," Kakashi would have had Naruto fight Sasuke, but didn't feel like watching a massacre.

"Sensei I don't want to fight Sakura-chan, I don't want to hurt her!" Naruto stated in his usual loud voice. Sakura, thinking that he was implying that she was weak, cracked her knuckles.

"Well that's too bad, because it doesn't look like she has any problems with hurting you," Kakashi tried to encourage his student to at least defend himself, "Alright, match start!"

In the blink of an eye Sakura was upon Naruto, beating at his head mercilessly until his eyes became X's and he passed out. Kakashi almost felt bad for the blond, but he hadn't tried to fight it . . .

"Winner: Sakura. Next match, Sasuke against Ikotsu," The two said boys moved into position on either side of the field. Kakashi wondered how this would turn out; he had never seen Ikotsu fight, so he might have an advantage, but Sasuke was a fierce fighter. This could go either way. "Match start!"

Sasuke, having recovered his breath, charged with full force at his opponent and jumped to perform an axe-kick from the air. Ikotsu did not lift his arms to block, he looked at the approaching threat as if he were thinking about something. As Sasuke closed in from the air, heel raised high, Ikotsu took a single step and bowed his head. _Baka, _Sasuke thought as he slammed his leg downward. Ikotsu was not an idiot; this was proven when, instead of his kick connecting, Sasuke rolled harmlessly off of Ikotsu's back and landed face first on the ground.

"How?" Sasuke grunted as he struggled to get up.

"Blocking shouldn't be based on your weaknesses, but rather your enemy's. Your kick hit _not_ at the heel, where it was strongest, but rather at the ham-strings where the force is weakest. That's how," Ikotsu replied, having had a prepared explanation. Sasuke righted himself and dove into the fray again. Ikotsu dodged and blocked his attacks, following the principle he had just explained: a palm thrust to the base of his arm to diffuse an oncoming punch, ducking under a kick and palming at the base of his leg to push him over.

It was going good, but then Sasuke landed a punch dead center on Ikotsu's torso, just below the ribs. Unbeknown to him, that was where Ikotsu's disfigured rib was.

The Renga boy gasped as he crumpled onto the ground, twitching slightly.

"Ow . . ." He groaned from his spot on the ground. Sasuke was breathing heavily.

"Winner: Sasuke. That's all for today, kids. Meet at the Hokage tower in one hour for your mission. Ja ne," Kakashi said before using a shunshin and disappearing, off to read some more.

(L-Block)

"Hey, old man, load me up with three bowls of beef!" Naruto placed his order along with the rest of his team; they had all decided to come to Ichiraku's for lunch-well, Ikotsu had bribed Sakura into coming by saying that he'd forgo the debt of one-hundred ryou that she owed him on their bet if she'd buy for him. Sasuke had decided to follow.

"I'll take two pork," Ikotsu asked, grinning as Sakura forked out the money to pay for his.

"One miso," She ordered.

" . . . Chicken . . ." Sasuke said.

As they ate Ikotsu was running over his plans in his head: they would go for their mission and Naruto would have an outburst about a better mission, then they would be assigned to a C-rank to guard Tazuna. He had several plans for the actual mission, but none seemed to stick so far . . .

(Square)

"We have quite a few missions to choose from, you can babysit, weed Ms. Izashi's garden, or catch the-" the Third Hokage was cut off as he read from his pile of paperwork.

"NO, none of those things! We're Ninja, give us something Ninja do! Give us a better mission!" Naruto exploded at the old man, not taking no for an answer. The Third gave a thoughtful look for a moment before the committee in his head decided.

"Alright, I have here a C-rank-"

"Oh, what is it? Escorting a Feudal Lord? Guarding a noble's daughter?" The sun-kissed blond interrupted again.

"You are to escort a bridge-builder back to his home in the land of Waves."

" . . . Seriously!"

Just then the door to the Hokage's office opened, and a man with horrible body odor and a bottle of sake walked in.

"So theshe are teh bratsh that'll be guardin' me? Dey don't look like mush," Tazuna, the bridge-builder, said, waving his sake bottle.

"HEY, OLD MAN-" Naruto was about to say more, but Sakura whapped him on the head and shushed him.

"You'll be escorting Tazuna here, please take care of him," the withered Hokage ordered, stamping a paper with red ink, "Team seven, prepare to leave within the hour. Dismissed!"

The four genin and their jounin sensei turned to leave.

"Except for you Ikotsu, you're being reassigned . . . "

**Dun dun dun . . . (insert epic cliffhanger music)**

**So this chapter was not as long as I wanted it to be, but hey, I have two more finals tomorrow, so I'm somewhat justified. Sorry if I have offended anyone with the "that's what she said" reference, if you complain enough I'll probably delete it. **

**Me: Hey Ikotsu, do you know what this is?**

**Ikotsu: What?**

**Me: A review box. You know what it's doing?**

**Ikotsu: . . . Starving?**

**Me: STARVING!**

**Ikotsu: *backs away slowly*  
**


	5. Wave Arc part 1

**Yo! I'm back on this Christmas break, bringing to you the next installment of "Twists and Turns". Enjoy!**

**I apologize for taking a little while, but now that my finals are finished I'm not so stressed anymore. Take that 4.0 GPA!  
**

**Disclaimer: How many Narutos does it take to screw in a light bulb. I dunno, but however many there are I don't own any of them.**

* * *

_Reassigned_ . . . _Pah! This screws up everything! _Ikotsu internally ranted on his way to team eight's training ground, already fashionably late. As he climbed the last hill to the designated meeting spot Ikotsu found team eight sitting on some stumps, waiting for him. Inuzuka Kiba was fiddling with a kunai, looking rather irked at Ikotsu's tardiness, Yuhi Kurenai sitting with her sharp eyes keeping track of her charges with great care, and Aburame Shino looking as straight faced and quiet as ever. Then there was Ikotsu's Okaa-san, well later on that is, looking down at the ground and trying, failing, not to look shy.

"Ano . . . " Every eye present, except his own, homed in on Ikotsu.

Kurenai stood, "Ikotsu Renga?"

"Hai?"

"I am your current sensei, Yuhi Kurenai, please have a seat," They both sat, Ikotsu next to Kiba, "Well then, since Ikotsu is new, why don't we introduce ourselves? Ikotsu first."

"Yo, my name's Ikotsu Renga. I like food, and helping friends out. Anything else you'd like to know?" Ikotsu said, not sure whether to continue about himself. A white furred head poked itself out of Kiba's jacket and yipped at him.

"Yeah I got one; Akamuru wants to know why you smell like cinnamon and flour." Kiba translated for his faithful canine friend, showing off his long incisor teeth as he smirked.

" . . . cinnamon rolls to be exact, with traces of ramen and granulated sugar . . . " Shino added as a kikai bug landed on his finger. Ikotsu felt his neck and found a tiny bite there, then turned back to Shino.

"Did you just . . . ?" Ikotsu left off, giving Shino a very questioning stare. _Is that what my chakra tastes like to them?_

"Cinnamon rolls, c-could it be that Ikotsu-san . . . " Hinata looked up at him, afraid to offend him by finishing her sentence; after all, cooking was unmanly.

"I've been found out . . . you guys are good!" Ikotsu reveled, looking at each of their individual faces in awe. _No one has figured me out so quickly! _"It's true, I like . . . to bake!" He struck a dramatic pose as the scenery around them was suddenly replaced with the image of giant pies and cinnamon rolls surrounding them. A mouthwatering smell filled the air. _Cinnamon spice and cream cheese glaze_, _o-o-o-oh!_

"Impressive genjutsu," Kurenai stated as the scene around them phased back to normal, "I'm told that you have a very strong sense of genjutsu."

"Not really, a master like yourself would find the flaw in my work almost instantly," Ikotsu blew off her praise and prepared to explain.

"Oh? And what is that?"

"Two meters, that's my range, I don't have the chakra to snare anyone outside of that. Genjutsu is a range oriented skill, it becomes almost useless if it has to be used at point-blank," Ikotsu confessed; when he had used genjutsu on team seven they were all within two meters of him.

"If that's the only problem then you simply need to build up your reserves," Kurenai stated; she remembered having this problem, albeit less than Ikotsu, when she had first started genjutsu. Regular ranged jutsu, like fire darts or wind blasts, were conceived inside of the body and aimed using the body, but genjutsu was conceived as only a seed inside the body and aimed with careful control of chakra projected outside of the body. The "seed" would then sprout when it made contact and its roots would grow back to the user, allowing them to feed the "seed" and make the genjutsu flourish. This was the simplified basis of genjutsu.

"I've been trying for years . . . " Ikotsu started, sadly, "My first range was thirty centimeters; I've progressed a lot from then, but it still seems like it's not enough."

"Don't w-worry, Ikotsu-san, I'm sure you'll get it," Hinata encouraged; she felt a strange comradeship with this boy, he seemed to know what it was like to try and fail and slowly grow from it. Just like Naruto-kun.

"It appears we have gotten a little off topic," their sensei noted, "let's get back on track. Kiba, introduce yourself."

Kiba didn't stand, but started anyway. "Hey, how's it goin'? My name's Inuzuka Kiba. I like animals, especially dogs like Akamuru, and fighting alongside them. Any questions?" Kiba finished, mimicking Ikotsu's introduction; after all, why tell someone else more about yourself than they'll tell you?

"Yeah I got one; Yoshi wants to know why you smell like bunny-rabbits," Ikotsu smiled, showing of his average sized incisor teeth, mirroring Kiba's response to his introduction.

" . . . roast venison . . . coupled with-"

"Please stop; it's nice to know, but right now it's kinda freaking me out." Ikotsu cut Shino off as he was about to state his bug's analysis of Kiba's chakra. There was a slight pause . . . until Kiba brought up a question.

"Who's Yoshi?"

Ikotsu pretended he didn't hear anything.

The rest of the introductions proceeded smoothly, without any awkward questions or answers. Team eight was now currently practicing some basic formations: one for running with less of a chance of being spotted, another meant for engaging in combat without getting in the way of teammates. There were a few slip ups, one where kiba tripped over Shino who had been stalled by Ikotsu and another where Ikotsu had run head-on into Hinata, but teamwork was generally present. They were resting from a particularly difficult maneuver, one where they'd line up and the line would swing like a door on a hinge, when Ikotsu perked up randomly.

"Well I'll say that this has been excellent meeting all of you, but I think my time is almost up," Ikotsu said while he stood and backed away slightly, smiling to his new friends. His panting teammates looked up at him with questioning glances, except for Shino who had known all along.

"Pardon?" Kurenai asked from her vantage point, where she had been inspecting their maneuvers. Ikotsu smiled to her and then, in a stunning display, exploded into a puff of white smoke. Where he had stood was left a small roll of paper.

"Kage Bunshin no jutsu . . . " Shino clarified as he picked up the little scroll and handed it to his approaching sensei. Kurenai opened the letter and her red eyes scanned it quickly. She handed it to Shino before instructing the rest of team eight to stay put while she left to meet with the Hokage. She had confirmed her suspicions of the Renga boy's appearance, but to think that he had never truly come to the meeting at all . . .

* * *

(With the _real_ Ikotsu)

The _real _Ikotsu was traveling through the forest outside of Konoha at a breakneck pace. He had argued for nearly an hour with the old Hokage, begging really, to be allowed on the mission with Naruto. The Hokage had tried to calm him down, saying that he'd "have his chance" eventually, but when Ikotsu finally said that he was worried about Naruto it struck a cord in the old man and he reluctantly agreed, writing a notice to team eight's sensei saying that Ikotsu was remaining with team seven for one last mission, and wrote a notice for Kakashi to allow him to tag along. Ikotsu had then proceeded to make a Kage Bunshin and sent with the papers for Kurenai, leaving him beat-down tired in the process, and went home to speedily pack.

Memories of his meeting with team eight flowed into Ikotsu's head, reminding him that he had used almost all of his chakra to create that kage bunshin. His chakra was slowly being restored as his metabolism burned through the handful of soldier pills that he had downed. _Soldier pills! they have the vitamins to make chakra, but do not store the chakra itself! Wouldn't it be cool if we could make a supplement that . . . _Ikotsu started playing with that thought in his head, cackling evilly as he propelled himself off another branch.

_At this rate I'll be caught up in a few minutes! Great! Ikotsu you devil, we're gonna make it on time! _Ikotsu commended his craftiness; true this had been harder than he had expected, but his plan wasn't completely thwarted. He jumped from the trees and onto the dirt road, looking for team seven's trail. _Ah, there! _Ikotsu found five sets of footprints that seemed fresh and started to run after them. _Now where's that puddle?_

* * *

"Sensei," Sakura started, trying not to embarrass herself in front of the Jounin, "There was a puddle back there, but it hasn't rained for days."

" . . . Stay alert! Guard Tazuna!" Kakashi ordered to the group; everyone tensed, drawing kunai and taking up defensive stances around the drunken old man, looking around them with searching eyes. There was a jingling in the silence, alerting them to a presence, but it was too late. Out from their blind spot, behing Kakashi, snaked a long spiked chain and in a flash their sensei was mangled up in it; there was a jerk on the chain and before the Genin, and bridge-builder's, eyes Hatake Kakashi was ripped to shreds.

"One down," a shady figure declared in a deep voice. Upon further inspection it was found that there were two figures, one behind the other, both wearing gas-masks and fur cloaks with standard black ninja pants. One of the twin ninjas charged, so did Sasuke. They clashed in a flurry of kunai strikes and dodges; Sasuke was doing rather well. Naruto and Sakura looked on in frozen horror; this was a real ninja battle? There was a blur and then the second masked shinobi stood before the terrified youngsters. He raised his claw wearing hand and swiped down.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" There was a blur of lines and whisper of smoke and all of the sudden the attacking shinobi found himself being kicked in the side, a heel jabbing squarely into his kidney. The poor mist nin was sent flying into a tree, blood pouring from his mouth. Death had been thwarted for the two Genin and bridge-builder, but not before Naruto had been nicked in the back of the hand by the enemy nin's claw. Their savior stood and turned to them; before the three was Mait Gai, green spandex and all, flashing his blinding nice guy smile. There was a swirl of leaves behind him.

"Gai, what are you doing here?" Kakashi stated as he phased into view, holding the other unconscious enemy nin by the scruff of the neck. Kakashi narrowed his eye as "Gai's" smile grew wider, his eyes closing to accentuate his eyebrows. Kakashi knocked a fist on the top of "Gai's" head and the Green Beast of Konoha exploded into a puff of smoke. In the madman's place stood Ikotsu, his green eyes almost shedding tears of laughter.

"You should have seen your faces!" He cried, falling to the ground in fits of laughter. Then he coughed up a bit of blood.

"Crap," _cough_ "didn't think I was" _cough cough_ "at" _cough_ "my limit," he moaned as he tried to get up. He coughed twice more, little flecks of red coming up with each hack, and handed a scroll with the Hokage's seal to Kakashi. The Jounin looked over the roll of parchment; it essentially stated that Ikotsu had permission from the Hokage to be outside the village and on this mission.

"Renga Ikotsu, welcome back onto team seven," Kakashi stated, not that excited to see him, before turning to the bridge-builder "for as long as this mission lasts, which might not be much longer. Tazuna, I think it's time you told us the truth about this mission."

"It's just a protection mission right?" Tazuna rationalized, knowing his protectors weren't buying it. He sighed, "The country of Waves is a very poor country, we don't even have the money for an A-rank. My bridge was meant to fix our poverty; it was meant to bring trade to our land. But alas Gato, businessman and shipping contractor extraordinaire, doesn't want that to happen, because if it does he'll lose his monopoly on my people. I just wanted to save our country; is that so bad?"

"Those were Chunin rank missing nin, considering that we aren't that far from Konoha we can only assume that it gets worse from here. This mission has just been bumped up to an A-rank." Kakashi explained to the old man and his charges, "My team doesn't have the experience for an A-rank. Not only will we lose money by taking this further, but it's likely that we'll die."

"But you're ninja!" Tazuna exclaimed, praying for any charity they could give him. He changed tactics, "Okay, fine, leave. I'll try to build my bridge, but it's likely that I'll die; my daughter will grow old hating her father, and my grandson will probably cry his heart out."

" . . . " The Genin looked at the man with pity, clearly sympathizing with him.

" . . . We are a team, we'll decide as a team," Kakashi felt a little bad for the bridge-builder too, but his pity was currently losing an all out war with his sense of danger.

"This will be a challenge . . . I like it." Sasuke agreed to continue; if this could make him stronger then so be it.

"Where Sasuke-kun goes I go!" Sakura quickly followed suit, hoping to score some extra points on this mission.

"Well, after all the trouble I've gone through to get here it'd be stupid to go back now . . . " Ikotsu reasoned in a rumbling voice as he hacked to get the last of the blood from his throat. The only one that hadn't spoken up was Naruto, his eyes still wide with fright from the encounter with the mist Chunin. Ikotsu noticed, as did the rest, "Naruto? You okay?"

Naruto shivered as he thought back; the Chunin was just about to kill him and end his dream of becoming Hokage. His claw glinting as it whistled through the air towards him . . . He tried to move, honestly he had, but hadn't found the strength. He felt useless back there.

"Are you in, or are you out, scaredy-cat?" Sasuke figured that Naruto needed some motivation, and he being the upstanding ninja that he was would give it to him. Their teamwork would suffer if Naruto died after all . . . then again maybe not . . .

Naruto blinked as he was torn from his fearful thoughts by the "teme's" words. He blinked again, this time with rage. Sasuke had just made fun of him again; that feeling of uselessness was replaced with a burning resolve.

"I'm going! And I am NOT going to let my teammates fight alone! Believe it!" Naruto's sapphire eyes flashed with determination. Ikotsu smiled and patted him on the back and took a look at the wound on his hand, which was almost completely healed.

And thus the mission continued . . .

* * *

"This is an idea that I've been working on _forever_, a jutsu that's a mix of jutsu." Ikotsu rambled on next to Naruto as they walked, talking about a technique that he had dreamed up a year back that he had never been able to perfect.

"What jutsu are you mixing?" Sakura asked out of boredom; Sasuke wasn't in a talking mood today, so she figured she might as well ask.

"Glad you asked. Now you see, it's kind of like a henge (transformation) and a kawarimi (replacement) mixed. It's the henge that I can't do right, because it takes too much chakra to do jinzo henge (synthetic transformation)." Ikotsu answered enthusiastically, not even missing a beat.

"Jinzo Henge?" Sakura asked, she'd never heard those two terms put together.

"It's a _very _high level henge that isn't just a genjutsu. Like Naruto's henge, for example; he rams so much chakra into it that it temporarily creates, more or less, a real substance. That's what I aim to do, but with a different application. Instead of transforming into a substance, I'm trying to henge th-" Ikotsu was cut off when Naruto let out a yell and chucked a shuriken at a bush, startling everyone present. Naruto then ran to the bush and checked to see if he had hit anything.

"Clear!" Naruto yelled, content that there was nothing there, smiling back to his group.

"Baka . . . " Sasuke sighed.

"BAKA Naruto!" Sakura yelled. Naruto trudged back, thoroughly put down, but brightened up almost instantly. Ikotsu knew what was about to come, and that they were being watched, but feigned slight ignorance.

"So as I was saying . . . " He was about to continue when Naruto leaped up again and threw another sharp projectile at a bush.

"Naruto, will you stop that!" Sakura chided him as he went to retrieve his weapon.

"I swear I felt a presence, Sakura-chan!" Naruto replied as he rummaged through the foliage and found something. "Ha! See!" he yelled triumphantly, holding up a fluffy white bunny rabbit. Kakashi face-palmed, but took a better look at the rabbit's color: snow white. _Snow, this isn't the season for white rabbits . . . _There was a whistling sound that fluctuated in volume as it steadily got louder._  
_

"GET DOWN!" Kakashi yelled, thanking Kami for teaching them reaction to commands.

Four Genin dropped to the ground for all it was worth . . .

* * *

**I don't have much to say for an author's note, but I would like you to remember the technique that Ikotsu describes near the end. It's kind of important. Ja ne . . .  
**


	6. Wave Arc part 2

**Hallo again . . . This is the next chapter of the wave arc. Umm . . . so that's pretty much all I feel like saying; I'm kind of tired . . . and tired . . . and tired . . .**

**WAKARIMASU KA! WATASHI WA TSUKAREMASU!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and if I did I wouldn't change a thing . . . except for the crappy voice actors on the English dubs.**

**

* * *

**They hit the ground, pressing onto it like lovers, desperately praying for any mercy that Kami-sama above could spare at the moment. Apparently he had a little bit left in his right pocket . . . along with some lint; he threw that down too. No sooner than they had they done so a giant one-edged broadsword came spiraling through the clearing, missing them by about five centimeters. The finely honed edge whistled as it sliced through the air and lodged itself into a tree not far from them.

There was a flicker of movement, a swirl of leaves, and a slight thud, and before them now was a man in bandages, covering his face, and tan striped pants, standing on the hilt of his 'guillotine sword'. He had light camouflage sleeves, but no shirt, and a shoulder strap for transporting his sword on his back. As he stood Kakashi regarded the man with a cold hard stare, taking in everything about him that could influence the tide of an inevitable battle.

"Missing nin Momochi Zabuza; you are here to assassinate I presume," Kakashi stated as he dropped his pack to get rid of the weight. Naruto, true to his earlier vow, took a step forward, his legs tensing for action. Kakashi held him back. "No. This is a whole new level, one out of your league."

"Well said, Sharingan Kakashi, keeping the kids safe; give up the old man and you just might be able to do that." Zabuza's masculine voice commanded as killing intent radiated from him; the old man and young Genin recoiled, but Kakashi stood firm. _Sharingan? _Sasuke heard the word and a new interest, or curiosity, sprouted in him toward his sensei.

"Sorry, we Konoha nins don't give up so easily," Kakashi put up a strong front, but inside he was estimating the chances of his team's survival. They didn't look good. He lifted his hand to his headband, prying at the corner. "Protect Tazuna while I fight Zabuza. Don't enter the fight, you'll be killed, that is the teamwork here!"

The four Genin, having gotten up, surrounded the bearded bridge-builder from all sides, kunai drawn and their eyes just as sharp. With a flick of his wrist the shining leaf headband on Kakashi's head was replaced to its proper location, revealing a long scar up the man's face. It was an old scar, not a scab present. His eye flashed open, showing a blood red orb with three black tomoe swirling around the pupil. It was a fierce eye, one that changed Kakashi's entire persona from a laid back lazy guy to a "I want to kill you and I can" guy.

"You take Tazuna over my dead body, Missing Nin!" Kakashi's voice held venom unlike the Genin had ever heard. A pressure filled the air, pushing down on the chests of everyone present. Fear was one of the main influences of a fight, Kakashi hoped to use that in his favor.

"Hmm . . . very well," Zabuza smirked from beneath his bandages and faded out of sight before reappearing in a swirl of mist on the water beside the road. "Ninpo: Kirigakure no jutsu (Ninja Technique: Hidden mist)"

"He's a master of silent killing! Stay alert; he can kill you before you even know he's there!"

_Then how can we stay alert! _All of the kids thought at Kakashi, but none could move their lips. Every last one of the Genin were shivering, and not from the cold mist that had sprung from seemingly _everywhere_. Ikotsu was almost hysteric, _This is . . . way beyond anything I could have planned for. I feel so . . . useless . . . _

_"_Hmm . . . so many options: liver, lungs, spine, clavicle, jugular, brain, kidneys, heart. Which should I choose? Which will bring the most pain?" Heads snapped to attention, looking every different direction they could, but only the mist would greet their eyes_ . . .  
_

Sasuke was almost just as bad as Ikotsu, his arms involuntarily shaking in fear and anticipation, _So this is the intensity of a Jounin fight . . . I feel like my heart's being crushed. I almost want to just kill myself and end it now . . . NO, how will I kill Itachi then! I have to kill him!_

Sakura could've sworn that her heart had stopped at least twenty-six times and counting! Inner-Sakura was spouting profanities about how F-ing scary this was.

Naruto was too scared to even think, he was frozen, quaking in silent terror as the mist swirled and plumed around them.

The temperature seemed to drop. Ikotsu fumbled to draw a shuriken with his clammy hands.

To Kakashi things were different, a little less terrifying. He could see wisps of chakra throughout the mist; some were purposefully placed to draw his attention, but some would flicker as Zabuza raced through the mist. _There? No, but maybe here. _He felt the fear tingling off the skin of his Genin, his finely trained senses picking up their terror; he stayed calm, not letting their fear breed his own.

"Don't worry everyone! I don't let my comrades die," Kakashi offered an eye-smile that they could barely see through the fog.

"Oh? Then I wonder what would happen if I did this . . . " _There! _Kakashi felt the movement and saw another chakra signature among his team. _Crap!_

"It's over." Zabuza twirled his sword around him, preparing to rain death upon the unfortunate fools guarding the bridge-master_. _He smirked._ Just like taking candy from a baby,_ he thought, beginning his swipe, only to be tackled mid-swing by the masked-one. He felt cold steel enter his heart, smiled devilishly, and dissolved into a harmless puddle of water. As Sharingan Kakashi regained his posture the 'real' Zabuza materialized out of the mist and sliced the man in two with a single clean cut. _One down . . . _the bi-segmented man disappeared, leaving a puddle of water . . ._  
_

_"_It's over," Zabuza felt even colder steel press against his neck, drawing a liquid that wasn't blood. It was water, but Kakashi didn't notice.

"To think that you'd copied me through the mist, and you even managed to trick me by having your clone say those things, but you'll find that I'm not that easy!" This Zabuza exploded into a shower of water as well. Kakashi felt a presence behind him and ducked; the Guillotine blade swished over him, missing by less than an inch. The blade's wielder kicked the wide eyed Kakashi as he was bent over, sending him flying into the water.

The Genin watched on in grim anxiety, not knowing whether to try and intervene or run like scared mice. Maybe both . . .

_This water is heavy,_ Kakashi realized too late what had befell him as Zabuza flashed his hands into the bird seal.

"Suiro no jutsu (Water Prison technique)," the bandaged man finished. Water pushed on Kakashi at all angles, lifting him up as it pulled him down, and rose up above the river in a sphere. "Now you're caught in my inescapable jutsu. We'll finish this later, but for right now I need the old man."

_This doesn't look like I'm going to make it. _Kakashi thought as Zabuza made a single hand-seal; a single water clone rose from the pool and stepped onto dry land and another toward the bridge-master. The Genin repositioned themselves in front of the drunken man. Zabuza knew that this was a horrible protection maneuver, and that he could easily go around and kill them from behind, but decided to humor these 'Ninjas'.

"Heh, wearing forehead protectors and acting like ninjas. Let me tell you something, a _real_ ninja is one who has survived numerous brushes with death. So basically once you're good enough to be in my bingo book, then will I consider you _real_ ninjas. Provided you live that long . . . " the clone said and faded out of view; Naruto, who had been standing the closest, received a sharp kick to the face, ripping his headband off. Black and blue spots found their way into Naruto's vision as reflexive tears of pain rushed to his eyes. There was a loud clink as Zabuza stepped down on Naruto's headband.

"You guys! Take Tazuna and run, his water clone can't go far with out being close to its real body, JUST RUN!" Kakashi's yell was muffled from beneath the water, but the Genin heard it loud and clear. He wanted them to run, but what would their chances be if he was gone?

As Naruto began to get up he felt a splitting pain in his hand; he looked down and saw the cut that one of the Demon Bros. had inflicted upon him. _This happened earlier, because I didn't help my teammates . . . how much worse will it be now that I'm not helping my sensei? No . . . NO, I made a vow and I NEVER go back on my words! That's my nindo! _Naruto ran forward with desperate conviction at his foe, diving low at the sword holding nin. _Got it! _he thought as he was sent flying back again, but he landed more-or-less on his feet this time. His teammates, except Ikotsu, eyed him oddly, but when he held up his retrieved head-band they nodded in understanding. This was his symbol of being a ninja, Iruka had given it to him, he'd be damned if he gave up now!

"Put this in your bingo-book, no-eye-brows-san: the man who will become Hokage, Leaf nin Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto said with a dark tone as he tied his fore-head protector, smiling grimly, his cerulean eyes dark and deep. Zabuza's non-existent eyebrows raised slightly. _So this kid has a bit of guts. _"Sasuke, get ready, I have a plan!"

"Pseh, teamwork from you . . . " Inwardly Sasuke was impressed. Naruto actually thinking in a situation like this. Pfft!

"Let's get _crazy_!" Naruto flashed a fox-like grin.

"Seriously, RUN!" Kakashi's voice held desperation, a thing that he hated showing, "Our mission is to protect Tazuna; protect him and GO!"

Naruto looked at Tazuna with pleading eyes, _just a chan_ce,_ that's all I need! _

Tazuna cleared his throat, "Well I guess I planted this seed. I'm sorry guys . . . " Naruto's shoulders slumped; their sensei would die, "Fight as much as you want." Tazuna smiled his grandpa smile as Naruto's features lit up with his consent to fight.

"You ready?" He asked his teammates excitedly.

"Hmph, still playing ninja? By your age my hands were already stained with blood!" Zabuza laughed evilly, waiting for someone to either ask or explain.

"Momochi Zabuza, demon of the Hidden Mist." Kakashi was about to say those same words, but it was Ikotsu who spoke. "Kirigakure had to change its genin final exam because of him."

"Final Exam?" Sakura, also having regained her voice asked.

"A fight to the death between students . . . " Zabuza finished before Ikotsu could say anymore.

"Ten years ago Kiri had to change its genin exam, because the year prior a 'demon' appeared. The kid, not even a ninja, slaughtered over a hundred students." Kakashi said from his watery perch, trying to convince his team to run and save themselves, but team seven stood firm, well, as firm as their quaking knees allowed.

Zabuza decided that these kids needed some incentive to get going. In a flash Sasuke was gone from his position next to Naruto and underneath the Missing-nin's foot; Zabuza shifted a bit of weight onto his let. _Crunch! _Sasuke coughed up blood. This was enough to get them moving.

"Kage Bunshin no jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique **A/N: you readers ought to know that by now**)!" Naruto cried out and nearly a hundred Narutos popped into existence; one hundred more orange jumpsuits flooded Zabuza's vision. _Hideous, _he thought to himself as they surrounded him, forcing him to take his foot off of Sasuke. He spun suddenly, sword outstretched, sending all but the real Naruto out of existence. As Naruto flew through the air he chucked something at Sasuke. "Sasuke! Catch!"

Sasuke, having gotten away from the Missing-nin's hold, caught the Fuuma Shuriken deftly. _So this is his plan . . . good job, Naruto . . . _Sasuke was impressed at the blond's resourcefulness in the current situation. _Here goes! _Sasuke stood and held the Fuuma Shuriken high and clicked a switch on the iron ring's center; four black machete blades slid into position with a slight click. Sasuke, having a much more refined aim than Naruto, hurled the tool of death with deadly accuracy at the real Zabuza.

The blade twirled quickly at the bandaged man, homing in on him, and just when he was going to be hit Zabuza caught the four bladed menace with his free hand, but the twirling sound didn't stop. _Kage Fuuma Shuriken hiding in my blind spot! _Zabuza realized and maneuvered his way around the hidden projectile. As soon as it was behind him he heard a poof and felt a chakra signature; he turned just in time to see a kunai sailing straight at him. He reflexively pulled his arm out of harm's way, but cursed as he realized his mistake. The water prison was shattered; Kakashi was free!

"Don't forget me!" Zabuza heard Ikotsu in the rush and felt a small twinge of pain below his ribcage, precisely two inches below the twelfth rib on the left. It was cold. _A senbon? _Zabuza realized as he felt strength leaving him, not his physical strength but his chakra! If he had known what the senbon was tapping he would have known that his chakra wasn't gone, but rather it was slowing down . . . stagnating . . . He turned as he felt a presence and found himself looking into the blood-red iris of Kakashi's Sharingan. The tomoe spun slowly at first and rapidly gained speed until there were no tomoe, but rather a solid circle of black rimmed on both sides by crimson. If Zabuza wasn't Zabuza he would have pissed himself.

"That was a great plan Naruto. You guys have really grown up," Kakashi commended his students as he intensified his glare at the enemy before him.

Zabuza jumped back, feeling the burn of chakra exhaustion already. Kakashi mirrored, but without the chakra condition. Zabuza flipped through handseal after handseal, watching Kakashi do the same. He saw a persona of himself standing behind Kakashi, almost whispering the handseals in his ear._ How! Can he read the future!_

"Yeah, you're going to die . . . " Kakashi replied to the man's thought, having read his facial expressions from years of experience._  
_

". . ._ horse, snake, boar, tiger, bird!" _They both finished in perfect synchrony, "_Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu (Water Style: Water Dragon Blast Technique)!"_

As soon as Zabuza summoned the water dragon he_ knew _something was wrong. The watery apparition that he had summoned bubbled and then fell apart, but Kakashi's stood firm. The blast of frigid water shot Zabuza back onto dry land, crushing into a tree. He felt two kunai penetrate his leg and stomach_, _pinning him to the tree.

"It's over." Kakashi stated as he closed in on his target, kunai drawn and ready to reek death upon his enemy. He deserved to die after all, right?

He jumped, arms raised high for the final blow.

"It's finally over!" Kakashi yelled, letting his emotions free, if only for this one moment.

"Hai, that it is," Two senbon needles flew from the woods, piercing the eye-brow-less man twice through the neck. Kakashi stopped mid strike and landed right in front of Zabuza's lifeless form. His eyes had rolled back into his head and his body was slumped in death. A personage in a black and red robe appeared beside Kakashi, they wore a white mask with the four squiggles of the Hidden Mist. They bowed, "Thank you very much, I've been looking for an opportunity to kill Momochi Zabuza for a _long _time."

"That mask . . . you're a Mist Hunter-nin, perhaps?" Kakashi asked, _From his height and voice he can't be that much older than Naruto, but yet he's a hunter nin . . . _

"Ohoho, impressive, guilty as charged. I'm a part of Kirigakure's Hunter-nin Team,"

"Hunter-nin?" Naruto, clearly confused, asked.

"Why yes. It's my duty to hunt down Missing-nin, those who abandon their villages, like Momochi-san here." The masked boy replied. _He's not a normal kid, _Kakashi reasoned with himself, _and he's hiding something. He's stalling; Hunter-nin never stall, it's part of their 'secret code'! _

Naruto narrowed his eyes and looked at the boy, something irking him. _Is he thinking the same? _Kakashi asked himself, eying Naruto's expression.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" Naruto yelled, pointing at the mysterious Hunter-nin. _Nope, why did I even think that? _Kakashi berated himself for expecting Naruto to think critically.

"It's okay, Naruto. He's not an enemy-"

"I'm not asking that! A guy that strong," Naruto pointed at Zabuza's 'dead' body and then pointed at the masked-nin "could be killed by a kid my age! He makes us look stupid compare to him!"

"I know how you feel, but Naruto, you must realize that in this Ninja World there exist children younger than you, but stronger than even me." Kakashi explained and watched Naruto's expression fall into a scowl.

The Mist-Masked-nin grabbed the body, propping it up on his shoulder, "I must dispose of this body and its many secrets. Farewell . . . " The boy made a seal with one and and disappeared in a swirl of leaves . . .

"He's gone," Ikotsu said, feeling like stating the obvious. His body still burned from his earlier chakra exhaustion and he still held in a cough or two, but this was nothing compared to his stamina training in early life; the thought brought back memories of hacking up puddles of blood.

Kakashi took a step forward, his mind in a haze as it tried to reinitialize after such a charged battle, and fell forward onto his masked face, thoroughly knocked out.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled, bringing all attention to their fallen mentor.

"Let's get back to my house so he can rest, okay?" Tazuna said, turning to the Genin. "Super thanks by the way!" he applauded, smiling his toothy drunkard grin.

The boys worked together to haul Kakashi's dead weight ahead, sometimes dragging him when the load became too great. He didn't even mind . . .

* * *

**Is it me or are these chapters staying in the three thousand words range? So, there are some differences to the scene, changing the placement of some of the dialogue, yada-yada-yada . . .**

**Please tell me your thoughts, constructive criticism (within reason. I know my story's not perfect.), ideas (if you think it would be a great idea, please tell me),  
yada-yada-yada . . .**

**Kikoeta! Watashi wa tsukaremasu!  
**


	7. Wave Arc part 3 Filler is Annoying

**Here it is, the next piece of the Wave arc. I'm not so tired, but college classes still takes a bite out of my time; thus my update speed is dramatically decreased. Late Friday nights and idle Saturday afternoons are the times designated to writing. **

**Random Rant: All hail Latin, the language of EPICNESS!**

**Disclaimer: 'ah owns nuthin, an if'n I did Clucky wud own you!**

**Begin!  
**

"I'm tellin' you guys I'll bet that Mist-guy is still alive. Sasuke, got any twos?"

" . . . Go fish." _It could be possible, _Sasuke thought to himself. He'd seen worse things than a man escaping death by pretending to be dead.

"Dang. Your turn Naruto."

"Hmm, what makes you say that? Sasuke, got any twos?"

"Baka! Ikotsu just asked that!"

"Go fish . . . " Sasuke smirked.

"Aw man! Kay, Sakura, your up!"

"Sasuke-kuuun, do you have any sevens." She was losing on purpose as a show of confidence in Sasuke.

"Go fish. Naruto, do you have any nines?" Sasuke's opinion of Naruto had improved greatly after their encounter with Zabuza, but he couldn't help but play off of the fool's ignorance; it was clear that Naruto was holding his cards in a way that even a blind ninja could read.

"I swear you're cheating Teme!"

"Naruto!" Sakura warned in a rising tone.

"Grr . . . fine!" He handed Sasuke two nines, his eyes clenched in a scowl.

"Ikotsu, it's your turn."

Ikotsu looked at Sasuke with a conspiratorial grin plastered on his face.

"Hey Sasuke, got any nines?" Sasuke clenched his jaw as he gave Ikotsu a malicious glare, handing him three nines; it had been like this for the past three rounds, Sasuke would amass almost a whole set and Ikotsu would take it and complete the set himself. Ikotsu's smile faded, if only a little, "Y'know guys, it's at times like these that we all have to remember that it's just a game."

"Easy for you to say, you're winning!" Naruto whined, looking jealously at the four sets laid out in front of his teammate and then back to the empty space before him.

The four gennin felt a presence at the doorway and turned from their spots at the foot of Kakashi's futon. Nothing was there.

"If you want to play kid you can! We can start another game if you want!" Ikotsu called out. Nothing once more.

"I'm good with that!" Naruto said enthusiastically, hoping for another chance to win.

"Maybe we should switch to poker; Naruto has a perpetual advantage in games that rely on luck." Ikotsu stated. A hand came out of nowhere and smacked the back of his head.

"I will not allow such a vile game as poker to be played in this house!" Tsunami told Ikotsu off like she would a stray dog.

"Owch! Geeze! Are you a freeking ninja! Where do you just pop up from?" Ikotsu asked, nursing his head. Tsunami inwardly puffed out her chest in pride at out-sneaking a ninja.

It was upon this scene that Kakashi awoke from his Sharingan-induced coma. He sat up, groaning while the covers slid off of his thin frame. He looked around him in a slight haze, seeing Sasuke brooding while Sakura and Naruto watched Tsunami and Ikotsu exchanging blows to the back of each other's heads; Tazuna was in the corner, sleeping. He could feel another presence outside the room, but it was too small to be an enemy nin.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei is awake!" Naruto, being openly observant, yelled, getting everyone's attention.

"Ugh . . . " Kakashi moaned, cradling his head in his palm. _So tired . . . _

_

* * *

_"I think Zabuza may still be alive." Everyone in the room was shocked, but they took the news surprisingly well seeing as Ikotsu had already planted the idea earlier. Kakashi was impressed with his team and their current emotional stability; normally, their eyes would have been replaced with the big white anime-orbs that are a symbol of shock and extreme surprise_._

"So you're saying that that Hunter-nin was actually saving him instead of killing him?" Ikotsu acted curious, but he already knew.

"Indeed. By inducing a false death state on Zabuza he was able to save him, but because of that Zabuza's body should take some time to recuperate. So this gives us some time to prepare for their next attack." Kakashi said, thinking up a lesson plan for the tree-climbing exercise. Naruto and Sasuke would be the main focus because Ikotsu and Sakura would probably have very little trouble.

"Prepare, Sensei?" Sakura asked, "How are we going to prepare to fight them _again?_"

"Hmm . . . tree climbing,"

"Why do you even try?" a small voice asked as a little boy with a hat made his presence known.

"Inari . . . " Tazuna tried to reason with his grandchild, but was silenced.

"You'll just get killed by them! Gato will keep his hold on this pitiful land! You think you're heroes? You'd better leave before you're killed too!" Inari spoke with a harsh reality of one who knew.

"Hey kid! There _is_ such a thing as a hero! I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I'm going to become Konoha's Hokage, dattebayo!"

"Are you stupid? You'll just die . . ." Inari looked down, tears about to flow, before running out of the room, leaving his words to hang in the ears of those present . . .

"Hey you little gaki! GET BACK HERE!" Naruto charged after the depressed boy and almost caught him before the the door was slammed in his face. He was about to use his uber-cool ninja skills to destroy the door when he heard an odd sound. A peep, then a wet sniffle and a soft wail. Inari was crying, Naruto realized. _Poor kid, _Naruto thought before walking back downstairs.

* * *

Team 7 stood in the humid forests out behind Tazuna's little house.

"Alright, now for tree climbing," Kakashi started, slouching lower than usual due to exhaustion. "I want you four to climb one of these trees using only your feet."

"GEH! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!" Naruto yelled, clearly confused.

"You'll use chakra to climb; Sakura give them the run-down of chakra," Kakashi ordered, trying to bring hearing back to his left ear.

(Skip **A/N: I really don't feel like copying down the explanation about chakra. Sue me. On second thought, please don't.**)

After Sakura had explained the basis of chakra and controlling it team seven went to work. Naruto and Sasuke took one look at each other before racing off to the nearest tree and trying to take a step up it. They both fell, hard, onto their rear ends. Naruto growled and tried again, plummeting once more. Sasuke didn't make any noise, but he tried again as well; he felt a little bit more traction this time. Good.

Sakura walked a little slower up to the tree next to Sasuke, it's bark was a little smoother than the others, and tentatively placed her sandal-wearing foot flat on its trunk. She took a step and was rewarded with success; before the other two had even made it two feet up the tree Sakura was standing at least four meters above them, her body perpendicular with the tree's trunk.

Ikotsu strolled like an old man over to a tree next to Naruto and put his toes to the base before letting himself fall flat on his back. With his back to the ground and the tree before him like a balancing board Ikotsu walked forward like he was walking down the street. He reminisced back to his first experience climbing trees.

(Flashback no Jutsu)

_"Isn't that impossible, Okaa-san?"_

_"No Ikotsu dear, not if you use chakra to climb it's not impossible." _

_Ikotsu looked downtrodden after hearing that, his ten-year-old mind having a flawed misconception of chakra._

_"Oh . . . I guess it's impossible for me after all," he said with tears brimming at his eyes._

_"Nothing is impossible, Ikotsu," Hinata said in as soothing a voice she could muster and pulling her son into a hug.  
_

_"It IS impossible. I don't have any chakra!" Young Ikotsu pushed away from his mother's embrace, his eyes desperate for her to understand. It was then that Hinata knew what to say._

_"You do, Ikotsu. Not a lot, but enough. If you focus chakra into the insides of your feet you can climb without actually consuming chakra."_

(End Flashback)

Ikotsu had taken his Mom's idea and ran with it, figuring out new ways to use chakra without actualy _using _chakra. He had become a very avid chakra conservationist; that was how he learned to perform high level genjutsu at his age, by learning to move chakra in a way that recycled most of it. He could not, however, conserve chakra when making a Kage Bunshin; that jutsu required just too much chakra to cut back on.

"How do you do that!" Naruto yelled, breaking Ikotsu's train of thought. Ikotsu then realized that he was standing sideways at the very tip-top of the old fir tree; about ten yards above them all.

"Takes about twenty training hours to become familiar with the technique and another ten to twenty to master it. Normally." Naruto and Sasuke had to strain their ears to hear his flat tone up above them. Ikotsu picked up his voice a little. "But, seeing as neither of you two are the average baka, I'd say it takes you ten hours till you're familiar with tree climbing."

"How long'd it take you?" Naruto called back up. Ikotsu's expression fell a little.

"Did you know that I trained my butt off for three years?"

"THREE YEARS!" Naruto screamed. He didn't have three years! He had to become Hokage as soon as possible!

"NO! I said I trained for three years; I never said I only trained with the tree walking exercise! This only took me four months!" Ikotsu chirped the last part rather optimistically. It was hard enough to walk up a tree with the chakra on the skin; learning how to stick your feet with the chakra about an inch into the flesh was proportionally harder per millimeter. That, and he had no Kage Bunshin to grant him extra experience. _Kage bunshin . . . hmm . . . _Ikotsu suddenly had an epiphany! "Hey Sensei, can I go into the woods a bit farther and train on my own?"

"Sure, go ahead, just don't cause too much trouble." Kakashi waved Ikotsu off, leaning on his crutch and turning back to his pervy novel.

"Okay, thanks!" Ikotsu yelled to their sensei as he worked his way back to the ground. _Now what was it that I didn't like about tree-climbing? Oh yes! Heights! AAAAGH!_

"Take your time . . . " It wasn't that Kakashi didn't like having Ikotsu as a student, but the kid seemed to have a whole different agenda than him; so, he reasoned, why go through all the trouble of keeping track of him? He flipped a page in his little orange book and forgot entirely about his previous troubles.

"Hey Naruto, can I borrow a bunch of those Kage Bunshin of yours?" Ikotsu, now safely on the ground, asked. He had already formulated a plan: teach a hundred Naruto's and the training hours would add up.

"Hmm . . . what's in it for me? WAIT! I KNOW! You could teach me how to do the tree-climbing exercise!" Naruto, confident that he had found a bartering chip, offered.

"If you haven't figured it out by dinner I'll teach you," Ikotsu said conspiratorially. "Deal?"

Naruto squinted at Ikotsu, as if looking into his soul. Ikotsu shivered at Naruto's stare.

"Deal. Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Twenty Naruto clones popped into existence, grumbling about something or other. Ikotsu rounded them up and left with the promise of returning in a few hours.

Sasuke was making headway, using a kunai to mark his progress up the tree. He paid little attention to the exchange below him, just waiting for the dobe to try and catch up; if he could, that is.

* * *

"Okay, so what exactly did you want us for?" one of the Naruto clones asked, his face contorted in thought.

"Use us for target practice?" another added.

"Taijutsu?"

"Ninj-"

"No!" Ikotsu, confident that he had gotten their attention, barked. "I'm teaching you guys how to use chakra right!"

"Well that's just dumb!" an uppity clone sitting on a log said. In an instant Ikotsu was in the clone's face.

"Utimate Ninja Finger Tap of DOOM!" Ikotsu yelled animatedly, poking the clone in the forehead with a chakra infused finger. The clone exploded . . . along with the log it was sitting on . . .

"Any other questions?" Ikotsu asked with an evil undertone, smiling and holding up his finger. The clones all shook their heads quickly, hands waving before them to further punctuate their non-questioning-ness.

"Didn't think so," Ikotsu said in a low tone before brightening up again. "Let's begin."

Ikotsu spent the next hour explaining to the many Narutos before him about chakra in more detail. Most of the information went way over the blonds' heads, but little bits and pieces stuck. Before long the Narutos had a somewhat better vision of chakra and how it was controlled.

The next step was to get the clones to become aware of their chakra; like how it feels when concentrated and how to focus that feeling where you want it.

"Concentrated chakra into your hands!" Ikotsu ordered; the clones complied, some complaining about Ikotsu's temporary drill-sergeant attitude. Ikotsu gave them a few minutes. "What do you feel?"

" . . . Whoa! It feels warm!"

"Kinda prickly too!" About half of the clones had something to say along those lines, the other half was still concentrating.

"That is the feeling of your own unique chakra. Try to make it smaller till it fits in, let's say, the middle of your palm."

More Concentrating, even some grunts of exertion.

Ikotsu almost had to wait a whole five minutes before one of Naruto's clones jumped for joy, proclaiming "I got it!" to the world. Another few minutes and yet another clone yelled happily of success. Within ten minutes another five Narutos had achieved Ikotsu's challenge.

"Alright, that's enough of you to get to the next part!" Ikotsu congratulated them. He was genuinely happy for his dad; in the future Naruto had often told his son how much he wished that he knew back then what he could truly do with kage bunshin. Ikotsu felt accomplished at having more or less started Naruto on the path of figuring it out early.

"What's the next part, Oh great and evil sensei?" _Uppity? _Ikotsu asked himself, tempted to blow the clone out of existence with the Finger Tap of Doom technique, but thought better of it. Ikotsu remembered when he learned that jutsu, if he could call it that; Tsunade-baa-sama had taught it to him when he was eleven as a birthday gift. He had promised to keep it a secret from his father, who didn't like Ikotsu learning techniques that could use too much chakra if abused (which is pretty much every technique in the Naruto-verse, but we're not gonna go there), but could now use it openly now that his dad in the future wasn't here.

"Now get that feeling to the skin of your feet." Ikotsu smiled sardonically at the mouthy clone. They all groaned.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke were competing to an extreme at this point, racing up their respective trees, falling, trying again, and getting higher with every attempt. Their kunai marks were both about twenty feet up, Sasuke's noticeably higher than Naruto's. It was now three hours after Ikotsu had gone off to do his own training.

Kakashi had left with Sakura about an hour after Ikotsu had gone, escorting her to her first day on the job of protecting the bridge-workers. Kakashi said that they would return once the work day ended and to meet them at Tazuna's home.

"Haha . . . " Naruto panted "I'm . . . catching up . . . Sasuke-teme!"

" . . . You're . . . ten years . . . too early to . . . beat me . . . Dobe!" Sasuke heaved back. They both look up their trees again, backed up, and ran to try again.

* * *

"You guys have done good. You can dispel now."

"YOSH!" the clones, all of which were thanking their lucky stars that they were done, cried out with exhausted gusto. They clammily formed the tiger seal and exploded into puffs of smoke, their experience rushing back to their creator. Ikotsu let out an exhausted sigh, teaching clones was a very tiring pass-time . . .

* * *

" . . . ONE . . . MORE . . . TRY!" Naruto grunted with hate filled exertion at Sasuke, who had won the climb once more. Sasuke smirked at his self-proclaimed rival, though just as winded as Naruto. They ran at their trees, but this time their limbs had the weight of exhaustion crushing down on them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Naruto let out a battle cry as he scraped his way up the tree, running with the last of his might and willpower. Sasuke was screaming mentally in his own exertion. They dashed and dashed their ways up the trees, scraping even deeper gouges in the rough bark where they had tread before. But this time Naruto's sandals touched the untouched stretch of bark further up the tree; they touched further and further up the tree, leaving nicks in the fresh brittle bark. The recklessly plastered membrane of chakra on his feet seemed to have smoothed out like a finely sanded piece of wood; almost like he had been training for weeks instead of a few hours . . .

Sasuke watched as Naruto raced past him up his tree, running up into the thicker foliage where he could not see. How had he done it? Sasuke angrily asked himself. _Just a few minutes ago he was completely hopeless, but now he's passed me up! How? _

"Hey guys!" the two rivals heard from down below. Sasuke released his chakra from his feet and landed perfectly on the ground next to a very startled Ikotsu. "Holy! Geeze, don't scare me like that!"

"Hey Ikotsu! How'd your training go!" Naruto asked as he clamored down. "I guess you won't have to teach me the tree climbing exercise after all; I figured it out by myself!" He gestured to himself proudly as Ikotsu face-faulted.

"Yeah . . . hehe . . . I told you you'd figure it out." Ikotsu smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"Man! I've got to figure out how you knew that I'd get it!" Naruto's words sparked Sasuke's interests. _How DID he know? _The wheels in the Uchiha genius's head began to turn at a breakneck pace.

"Well guys, it's sunset, we ought to be getting back to Tazuna's." Ikotsu hastily changed the subject. Sasuke took note of that too . . .

* * *

"More please," Ikotsu said as politely as he could to Tsunami, who was watching in horror as the food was being consumed by the two rivals of Team Seven.

"More!" Naruto and Sasuke said in unison, holding out their bowls and glaring at each other. Though he had just one-upped Sasuke Naruto still felt the need to eat and replenish his energy to go at it again tomorrow.

Sakura's heart was full of sorrow. After walking through town with Tazuna she felt like she had been punched in the gut, repeatedly. _Those poor people . . . and yet they want to quit on the bridge, the one thing that can save them. How far has Gato broken these people? _She spent most of the meal stirring and picking at her food, but having trouble taking a bite as she thought back to that starving little girl.

Kakashi was beyond impressed to hear of Naruto's sudden burst in chakra control, but when he had asked the blond what he had done to figure it out Naruto couldn't give him an answer. The boy had just stood there, puzzled, trying to figure out what epiphany had granted him such progress, but he couldn't remember. That had made Kakashi suspicious and he thought that he just might have figured it out. Ikotsu had taken Kage Bunshin from Naruto with him into the woods. Kage Bunshin transfer experience to the owner; so Ikotsu must have trained the clones and then made them dispel, granting Naruto greater chakra control without directly telling him where the ability had come from. _Interesting, _Kakashi thought as he used his Mad-Ninja skills to eat with his mask on. _What are you hiding, Ikotsu?_

_

* * *

_Ikotsu sat on the roof that night, mulling over his decision, trying to figure out if teaching Naruto was the right choice. He looked up at the moon, its silver droplets of light bathing the forest and water with a soft glow. He loved nights like these, where there was only the moon to talk to.

" . . . You taught him didn't you?" Ikotsu felt footsteps behind him on the thatching.

"Yes."

" . . . How?"

"I have my ways."

Ikotsu turned, looking at his guest with tired yet wise eyes.

"Teach me." Sasuke stepped into the moonlight.

* * *

(Omake) **A/N: I'm new to writing Omakes, so tell me if it isn't that funny.**

" . . . Horse, snake, boar, tiger, bird! Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu!" Zabuza yelled out.

" . . . Horse, snake, boar, tiger, bird! Kuchiyose no Jutsu: . . . " Kakashi pushed his hands to the sky as the seal began to work its magic. "CHUCK NORRIS!"

" . . . Crap . . . "

* * *

**Well, I'm back for now. I've been trying to juggle two stories lately, so I'm sorry if the quality of this chapter is not that good. My update speed is failing, sorry. If you have an idea, or some constructive criticism, or some thoughts on the story so far, I'd like to know (me being the selfish author that I am). Until next chapter! Ja ne!  
**


	8. A Ridiculously Short Revival of Interest

**Hi guys! I'm back after a long period of tiresome tests and slow paced school work. And guess what: I'm not as tired! Mwahahahaha! In truth school will end for me in little over a month and now my classes have begun to hand out their final essays (one requires ten pages) as well as prepping us for finals. So guess what that means: you lovely people get to wait even LONGER for an update. Joy . . .  
**

**Ikotsu: Ragna, I'll be frank with you, you update extremely slow.**

**Ragnarok Emissary: True . . . true . . . tell that to my straight A's! Hah!**

**Ikotsu: *sigh* Ragnarok Emissary does not own Naruto; he does, however, own the little S-rank mission listing under the title of "Wanted: test answers". Wait . . . what? Ragna, You cheater!**

**Ragnarok Emissary: SHADDAP!**

Begin . . .**  
**

Ikotsu sat at Tazuna's breakfast table in a tired daze, thinking of the night before.

_Flashback no Jutsu_

_"Teach me." Sasuke stepped into the moonlight. Ikotsu didn't turn to face him, instead he weighed the possibilities of doing as he was asked. Would teaching Sasuke come back to hurt him or Naruto in the future?_

_"Sasuke, what you truly have to learn is not something I can teach." Ikotsu said in a sad tone, knowing full well that this young man would cause so much grief.  
_

_"So you're not going to . . . "_

_"__I'll teach you tree climbing, but I want you to think of what I've said."_

_Flashback End_

"Oi! Pass the porridge, will ya!" Naruto waved his hand in front of Ikotsu's unresponsive face. He flicked Ikotsu's nose. "Helloooooooo?"

" . . . Oh! sorry . . . here," Ikotsu handed the pot of rice to Naruto, embarrassed that he'd spaced out. He'd spend all night training Sasuke in the tree-climbing excercise; the Uchiha boy was quite quick, but teaching Sasuke wasn't quite as fast as the Kage Bunshin method. Sasuke had perfected his technique just before dawn, leaving both him and Ikotsu exhausted. Ikotsu looked at Sasuke; the boy showed no signs of sleep deprivation in his bright sunny brood. _Che, teaches me to train YOU all night!_

"Alright everyone, lets get ready for today," Kakashi started, content that everyone was finished eating, "Sasuke, Naruto, you two will be working on the tree climbing exercise. Sakura and Ikotsu-"

"Wait! I've already mastered the tree climbing exercise! Why do I still have to train!" Naruto blatantly asked.

"Because you've only known it for a day; get used to doing it and then you're finished." the silver haired scarecrow explained while opening his orange book to page 522. "Now, where was I? Ah yes, Sakura and Ikotsu will be on bridge duty today."

* * *

"Tazuna, I'm quitting." _Another worker lost_, Tazuna sighed. With the threat of hired ninja hanging over their heads more and more workers were walking away from the bridge in the hopes that their lives would be spared. _At this rate we won't finnish . . . _

Ikotsu watched the exchange from his perch on the bridge's side and turned to face the water. Hopelessness, this place reeked of it;_And I thought I had issues, _Ikotsu mused to himself while breathing in its scent. But Ikotsu knew that the hopelessness would cease in the future; the future's history proved it. But what if his presence somehow messed history up, what then? Ikotsu didn't dare think of it, so he switched his perspective to the present.

"Hey, old man!" Ikotsu said to Tazuna as he stood up, "what do you need help with?"

"Just watching out for Gato's thugs is enough," Tazuna answered wearily, which is 'old-man code' for: "I never though you'd ask. We need to plant the base supports, so could you perhaps . . . give us a hand securing them?"

"Sure I can help with the base, Sakura-san can watch for enemy nin while I'm helping." Ikotsu stated, proud of himself for decoding the bridge-builder's words. Tazuna blinked, twice in fact, before nodding and gesturing to a small pile of carpentry tools. Ikotsu picked up a good sized hammer and joined the dwindling procession of bridge workers.

Another one quit that day, leaving only four workers including Tazuna and Ikotsu.

The support beams were an interesting labor, interesting indeed; two fourty-five degree members and a center support were required down each side of the bridge before a floor could be layed. Each set of members took careful planning, measurement, and trigonometry before even one beam could be placed. It was a long day . . .

* * *

Walking through town was an emotional lesson in self control; within minutes Ikotsu's pockets were empty and his conscience unsatisfied. He knew the troubles would be over for whirpool, he _knew_ it, but seeing the way it was now blotted out Ikotsu's reasoning.

If the smell of hopelessness was strong at the bridge then the town must have been caked in it. Hollow cheeks seemed to be some sort of trend; people's eyes held such a broken look to them that they couldn't even bear look at each other for fear of becoming burdened with another person's trials. _How could such pain come to be? Who would endorse this? And for what? Money? _Ikotsu had to grit his teeth to keep from screaming the good news that was coming, but he knew they wouldn't believe him.

"You see it too," Sakura spoke, having seen the dire straights of this town already. She wasn't numb, but being a ninja required one to restrain their emotions.

"I see it, and I wish it would end sooner,"

"Sooner?"

"Once this bridge is finished, things will look up."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, but I believe,"

"Just belief?" She sounded more and more hopeless by the syllable.

"We have nothing if not belief," (name that movie) Ikotsu smiled.

"Why are you always so smugly optimistic?" Sakura turned to him, her composure breaking, "Why do you sound like you know all the time? What makes _you_ so different?"

Ikotsu looked to the ground for guidance. _Why AM I here? What makes me so different? Gah!  
_

The walk seemed so long with the dead silence that ensued . . .

* * *

Let it be known to the world that the number one most unpredictable ninja snored like a landslide. Ikotsu looked out the window for what seemed like the six-billionth time, checking the position of the moon and wondering when this seemingly perpetual assault on his ears would end.

It was about then, just as dawn was nearing the horizon, that it dawned upon Ikotsu. He jerked up, a million possibilities running through his head at the speed of whatever-you-consider-fastest-and-multiply-it-by-over-9000. Naruto was here. Now this would seem like a minor detail to any unsuspecting dweller of the present, but to Ikotsu the world was being shaken to its core. Naruto was here, and he wasn't sleeping in the woods. Where he would meet Haku. Where the idea of precious people was conceived . . .

**Now I will admit, this was a horrendously short chapter, even more so by a professional writer's standards. However, I haven't updated in over NINE weeks so I'd like to establish that this story is not dead. Count 'em, nine. I get out of school in two weeks, cough . . . straight A's by the dummkopf US' system, after which I will be writing like an obsessed lunatic. I have a bit of an idea about what to write next, but if anyone want's a good idea put in I'm willing to listen.**

**Ikotsu: Short chapter, huh?**

**Ragna: Shnauze, Dummkopf!**

**Ikotsu: Oh sigh . . . Ragnarok Emissary does not speak German, he does however speak idiot-**

**Ragna: AND English!**


	9. Self Disappointment Breeds Selfcontempt

**School! IS! OUT! Yes! WIN!**

**So this is my version of a returning chapter. Way too shabby . . .  
**

**Random rant: The cake is a lie? Then why did I eat it?**

**Disclaimer: Watashi wa "Naruto" o shoyū shite inai! HAH, Baka Bengoshi!**

The scene was quiet, so much so that it might have seemed surreal to Ikotsu, but this was an emergency. Naruto wouldn't wake up and when Ikotsu had managed to break his slumber he had looked at him like he was crazy and then _jovially _jumped back into bed, refusing to leave it. He didn't know what to do; Ikotsu couldn't just walk up to Naruto and say_ "heya future father; I know it's kinda late, but I've screwed up the time space continuum and I need you to talk to this girly-looking-boy in the woods."_

_Was my Dad such a lazy bum when he was a kid?_ Ikotsu asked himself. Granted, Ikotsu knew that Naruto had not yet fully completed his Nindo and he knew that Naruto was still somewhat motivated, but he still felt the need to curse something. _I'm an idiot! Why did I think I could change things-should change things? Did I honestly think it would make things better! Bakabakabakabakabakabaka-Ikotsu!_

He hurdled out from the trees and into the meadow of herbs, breathing heavily, still unconvinced as to what he was doing. Dawn was imminent, Future Naruto had said it was just after dawn, so Ikotsu sat. As his breathing slowed he contemplated then and there what his presence here would do, if it would even make a difference to this already screwed up world he created. There was movement in the trees, an unseen presence trying to remain in shadow. Ikotsu felt a chakra signature wafting from the woods and tensed slightly, but relaxed once he realized who was coming.

_He's here . . . _

Trained feet took tentative steps through the undergrowth, making little inaudible swishes. When Ikotsu turned to face Haku, he felt as if he were standing in front of a legendary portrait in the Konoha Historical Archives. This is where it all began, where Naruto's Nindo was born; Ikotsu was reminded that he wasn't meant to be here. The nostalgia and excitement dimmed and were replaced with the eating feeling of guilt and uncertainty.

_What should I say? What should I do?_

Ikotsu took a step toward his inquiry. Haku's eyes denoted an air of realization and uncertainty as well. It was true to say that Ikotsu wasn't his father and didn't look as innocent or childlike, which must have been why Haku wasn't trying to mask himself in the act of being a petty herbalist.

The tension in the air was so tight that it felt like the slightest movement would snap it like a strained guitar string.

Ikotsu raised his hand and, just like that, Haku ran!

"Wait!"

he took off after him.

_"_PLEASE!"

Haku slowed as if contemplating stopping, but sped back up as soon as he started.

_"_Haku! Stop!"

No answer, only running.

"No!" Ikotsu realized that he was losing him.

" . . . No . . ."

As Haku's figure swept into the distance Ikotsu broke down, crying out in pained anguish. Without "Precious People" how would Naruto find the strength to become better? Stronger? How would he gain acknowledgement?

_Why? _Ikotsu thought bitterly.

_Why does one mistake have to destroy everything?_

* * *

Naruto awoke feeling like he'd had the best night's sleep in the world, only to realize that the bedroom they were sharing was empty. He smelled food, not as tantalizing as ramen, but food none the less. Then it clicked! _They're eating without me!_

STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-STOMP-trip-fling-bubububump!

Naruto landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, hollering the whole way.

"TEME! WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP FOR BREAKFAST?"

"Well . . . " Sasuke took a bite of porridge, pretending to savor it, and swallowed "You see . . . " he smirked at the blonde, taking another spoonful "No matter how hard I tried, you wouldn't stir."

"The-heck I would've!"

"It's true."

"Nu-uh!"

"A-huh . . . seriously?"

"What's wrong, Teme? Too scared to argue with me?"

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, " . . . I-"

"It's true, you _didn't _wake up . . . " a depressed and sleep-deprived Ikotsu droned, dropping hints that only he would catch.

"What's made you so up-tight?" Sakura asked, taking note that Ikotsu was being rather sardonic this morning . . . at least more than usual.

"Have you ever screwed something up unintentionally?" Ikotsu was surprised at how loose he was being with his secrets. Kakashi perked up.

"It happens all the time," Kakashi said in a knowing tone, lifting his orange book and pointing to it, "even in here!"

"Y'know what! Screw your book!" Ikotsu said irritably.

Kakashi cradled his book like a lover. "He didn't mean it," he cooed before turning to Ikotsu.

"And don't tell me to apologize to it! It's a book!" Ikotsu yelled before Kakashi could even speak. He now had the attention of everyone present; they all stared at him incredulously, wondering what had happened to the polite yet mischievous boy. It was Ikotsu's turn to feel bad, the sickening wave of regret and embarrassment at such an emotional unload churning through his guts.

"I'm sorry," he stood and walked to the door "I take my leave . . . "

* * *

The day proceeded quietly. Sasuke and Naruto were already at the bridge, Sakura was inside washing dishes with Tsunami, and Ikotsu was out in the woods thinking.

_Maybe I should just disappear? Yeah, that makes sense, I won't be there to screw up anything else . . . But I've already changed so much! I have to fix it . . . but how? _Ikotsu didn't know what to do. It felt like he was trying to recreate the world. Where do you start? A twig snapped nearby; Ikotsu jumped to attention, ready for anything.

"Oh, I finally found you," Kakashi stepped into the clearing "Normally I'd commend you on your ability to become undetectable by most means of chakra-perception, but, quite frankly, it's driving me crazy."

"I'm sorry for my behavior," Ikotsu apologized.

"Being a ninja is hard work, and everyone breaks at some point," Kakashi counseled, "Besides, I'm not the one you need to apologize to."

"True," Ikotsu conceded, relaxing a bit.

"You sounded troubled,"

"Obviously . . . Sorry, I'm doing it again." Ikotsu apologized once more.

"Forgiven. Now as I was saying: is there anything wrong?" Kakashi looked at Ikotsu, trying to deduce the cause of his inner turmoil. Ikotsu stared back, trying to find an answer that would placate the man. At last he found his words.

"I feel like something was supposed to happen this morning, but it didn't," Ikotsu started vaguely, his mind making half truths and excuses. "Like it didn't happen because I was there."

"Vague . . . but believable," Kakashi shrugged. That wasn't the end of it. "But you must realize, Ikotsu, nothing is truly absolute. Just because something's _supposed _to happen, doesn't mean that it's going to happen that way. Take your training of Naruto for example," Ikotsu jerked, "All ninja are supposed to learn the tree climbing exercise, but that doesn't mean that they have to learn the same way from the same person. You got inventive and taught shadow clones, which in turn taught Naruto."

_Inventive . . . _Ikotsu barely caught the word. He smiled, an idea steadily spreading through his head like a cancer cell.

"Thank you, Sensei!" he bowed, smiling.

Now he had an answer.

_I, Ikotsu Uzumaki, will teach Naruto about precious people myself . . ._

* * *

"Down . . . Down . . . left-left-LEFT! Good. Now down once more . . . little more . . . almost there. Aaaaand it's in! Good work fellas!" Tazuna instructed the genin duo as they placed another support beam. Indeed, the tree climbing exercise payed off . . . for Tazuna. He'd convinced the boys that this would be a form of training, lifting heavy loads while walking on wooden beams to place them. Naturally the two took it as an opportunity to one-up each other; this was a cause of much headache on Tazuna's behalf, but the boys were hard workers and that was better than _no _workers.

It was then that Naruto took the opportunity to pull Sasuke off the bridge, thinking of how funny it'd be to see him sopping wet. In a quick movement Sasuke delivered a soft kick to Naruto's face, causing Naruto to tumble in, and, in his moment of imbalance, fell in too. The water was not very forgiving at the moment. It was _not_ a soft landing.

_Kursplash_!

"Alright, fellas, no horse play until we're done here. Y'hear me?" Tazuna smiled as he watched the two squelch around in the water, they reminded him of how children in Wave would act before Gato's self imposed reign._ This bridge has to be finished, or we'll never see the end! _Tazuna thought in grim determination.

"Are we almost done yet?" Naruto gurgled as he came back up from the water again. Sasuke wanted to know too, but would rather have asked when standing next to the man for effect.

"Yeah, yeah . . . come on up and we'll get going!" Tazuna called down to the youngsters. They complied quickly, due to the cold water.

* * *

The atmosphere around the table was noticeably better. Sasuke and Naruto had figured out exactly how to appear playful while getting under each other's skin, their twitching smirks masking an epic battle between in their subconscious'. There wasn't as much to eat that night, funds were growing low, another reminder that the bridge needed to be finished.

The bridge was nearing completion: at their current rate it would take maybe a week or so. If the townsmen started working as well, then it _might_ take a week at most. Things were looking up . . . at least they were before Inari spoke his mind.

The words Inari spoke were full of hopelessness. The mood visibly drooped as he claimed the four genin would die under Gato's wrath. They were the words of someone who had stopped trying; Naruto was the only one brave, or foolish, enough to break the hopelessness. _"Congratulations, really, good job, you've done nothing but cry!" _Naruto had said before storming off, Inari ran in the opposite direction. Ikotsu was tempted to be the one to tell Inari about Naruto, but figured that he should try to fix the problem he had already created. Now was the time to tell Naruto about precious people.

Ikotsu finally found Naruto sitting in a clearing, ironically the same clearing Ikotsu had visited that very morning. The blond looked grim; not distraught, just grim.

"He's not a bad kid, he's just been hurt," Ikotsu started up a conversation.

"I know," Naruto started, showing a different side of himself, "but he's given up on trying. Doesn't he want a change?"

"That's the difference between you two: you gave up . . . " Naruto looked like he didn't understand, but Ikotsu continued the phrase "on giving up."

"That's a cool way of saying it!" Naruto said, taking the phrase into heart. _'Give up on giving up.'_

Ikotsu figured that this was the time, "Naruto, in this life . . . um . . . in this life, there are," _Come on Ikotsu, THINK! _"There are, Ugh, how do I put it?"

"There are whats?" Naruto asked, now confused on a number of levels. _Ikotsu, not knowing what to say? That's weird._

" . . . gah! Never mind . . . " Ikotsu said, thoroughly frustrated with himself. He could explain high level genjutsu without so much as a stutter, but he couldn't explain one life-lesson? _Preposterous!_

"Ano . . ." Naruto began, "It's dark out here, let's get back and get some sleep."

_He's right, Kakashi has probably finished talking with Inari by now._ It brought Ikotsu a nice feeling, knowing that Naruto had people that would stand up for him.

"Hai, let's go."

* * *

"Up and at 'em! Bridge watching time!" Ikotsu yelled at Naruto. The orange blob shifted before settling once more. _Good, _Ikotsu thought, finding it ironic that it was okay for Naruto to sleep in _now_. _He's supposed to sleep this time, otherwise Inari and his Mother are going to have some unwanted guests that they won't be rid of._

This was the final day of Gato's reign. The steps had been carefully planned throughout the night before. Ikotsu had tried to talk to Naruto again several times, but found that his tongue wouldn't work with his brain at each moment. He called out to his teammates down the stairs.

"Sleeping like a rock, about as easy to rouse too! Let him sleep." Ikotsu said in as convincing a voice as ever. Sakura sighed in agitation, but Sasuke and Kakashi didn't look all that heartbroken.

"Then let's get going," Kakashi said, shouldering his backpack as everyone stood.

* * *

"I have a bad feeling about this . . . " Ikotsu said for the umpteenth time that morning. Truth be told, it was pissing Sakura off.

"Just keep working!" Sakura threatened as she helped Sasuke with another beam. After a period of self contemplation Sakura had reached a level of determination to finish the bridge; after days of walking back and forth through the town, she just kept looking at those poor people and couldn't think of how to help them.

_"How do you know?"_

_"I don't, but I believe."_

_"Just belief?"_

_"We have nothing if not belief."_

Those words, short, simple, and philosophical, were what made her think: what do I believe will happen?

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked, lifting up his half of the next beam and noticing Sakura's slight daze. Now sufficiently brought back to earth, Sakura began to lift the other half of the beam, as if the pause never happened.

Ikotsu finished dragging his beam to the placement sight by the time Sasuke and Sakura had finished placing their beam. The three picked up the beam and were about to begin placing it when Ikotsu dropped his load, leaving Sasuke and Sakura to pick up the slack.

"What's the big idea-" Sakura dropped her end too. Sasuke heaved, barely managing to pull the beam of wood back onto the scaffolding in time to see it too.

It was noon-day, but the mist was already rolling in, and the daintiest of flapping sounds could be heard in the summer breeze . . . _Whoosh whoosh whoosh wh-_

"GET DOWN!"

The cold metal of Zabuza's Guillotine blade thrummed with tension as it hummed over the three genins' heads, missing by bare millimeters. Before they could even blink they were flushed to the ground by a blast of water. The blade began its return arc back into the spray; a soft thump could be heard, presumably the blade being caught by its owner.

_Flicker . . . _

And there he was, already standing on the edge of the bridge, a monument to death itself, holding his blade ready.

"I'm back for my rematch . . . " Zabuza said in a chillingly playfull tone. The cold pressure settled once more upon the area, freezing anyone who dared to take a breath.

"You three! Get back!" Kakashi yelled, alerting the genin of their current predicament: they were practically lying at Zabuza's feet! They scrambled in a most un-ninja-like fashion away from the assailant, but quickly reformed, taking a stance diagonally behind Kakashi; Sakura took a protective stance in front of Tazuna, completing the arrangement.

_Flicker . . . _

And then there were two!

"Haku,"

"Hai, Zabuza-sama." Before Ikotsu could even blink the world had frozen around him and Sasuke. "Hijutsu: Makyo Hyosho (Secret Jutsu: demonic crystal ice mirrors)!"

Ikotsu stopped moving, mesmerized by the infinite hallway of mirrors that expanded in every direction. A stabbing pain shook his reverie.

Haku rippled through the reflections like a fish through water . . .

How could this possibly end well? Was Zabuza and Haku's survival even possible?

Another slick thump as a frozen senbon slipped into his right shoulder . . .

It was becoming hard to think, too many problems with keeping the two alive, too many emotions demanding their survival.

Through the left arm . . .

_What do I do?_

Piercing the diaphragm, between the lungs and liver . . .

"MOVE!" Sasuke shouted in possibly the greatest display of raw frustration he could conjure. "Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!" the grand fireball crashed down upon the mirrors like a fiery tsunami, but the demonic ice held firm . . .

Time began to move again for Ikotsu, slowly at first, but steadily gaining speed until all of the pain arrived at once. Ikotsu was breathing heavily, finally feeling his injuries. Another senbon slid through the frigid air; Ikotsu went to raise his right arm, but found that it was numb and hanging at his side like a windsock on a windless day. Sasuke took that hit, the needle painfully lodging itself into his forearm. Ikotsu lifted his left hand and carefully tugged on the senbon in his right shoulder, hoping to regain mobility in his other arm, taking a few more hits in his concentration.

Sasuke was beginning to become numb to the needles, covering for Ikotsu and dodging whenever otherwise possible. His vision was beginning to fail, leaving little blotches of black where he needed vision the most. _A masked nin here . . . a masked nin there . . ._ All of the sudden there was full darkness, but then . . . light. A single light, and then a thousand, pulsing in the dark like blue flames licking at a portrait of the current scene.

To Ikotsu it looked like Sasuke's eyes were bleeding out, but just as soon as he was about to ask the broody youth if he was alright the boy's gaze snapped back into the present. Sasuke smiled-no, he grinned . . .

"Yes . . . "

Two swirling tomoe appeared in his eyes.

Behind his mask, Haku's eyes widened. This was going to become problem if he didn't end this fast!

Ikotsu ripped a needle from Sasuke's back, extorting a painful grimace from the awakened Uchiha, then pulled at another. The boy knew his way around senbon, Haku observed, he would be first in line . . .

"IKOTSU, SASUKE-TEME! I've come to rescue you!" a certain orange clad Ninja hailed as he slipped under the wall of mirrors. Ikotsu and Sasuke, despite their dire straights, twitched . . . as did Haku.

"Dang it, Naruto! When someone's trapped in a cage of mirrors you're supposed to say 'I'll get you out of there' and then break the mirrors from the outside!" Ikotsu joked, sliding another senbon from Sasuke's neck. Sasuke, still reveling in his newly found eyesight, winced, but at least feeling was returning.

"One last one . . . geh . . . grr . . . HA," Ikotsu muttered as he pulled the last needle out of Sasuke arm, "now for me . . . "

_Shlrck! _

" . . . OWCH!" Ikotsu clawed at his back, feeling for the puncture.

"Never take your eyes of an opponent . . . " Haku stated, throwing another hail of senbon.

"DUCK!" The genin scattered, somewhat avoiding the frozen needles.

The feeling of pressure had returned again, the fight was serious once more.

"Sasuke, what can you see?"

" . . . He's . . . slowing,"

"Whoa! The heck happened to Teme's eyes?"

"Sasuke's Sharingan has awakened."

Another onslaught of frigid projectiles . . .

"Who can still move? Sound off!"

"I can!"

"I as well."

"Well I guess I ate that, I can't feel my leg!" Ikotsu complained, trying to dodge and pull out senbon AND balance on his working leg. Needless to say he tumbled to the ground. "There we go!" He said, tugging out the right needle, standing once more while favoring his leg.

Haku was getting a little winded, his chakra reserves were nearly spent, yet these genin would not fall!

* * *

The battle outside the ice mirrors was not much better. The two masters of death were locked in a battle of endurance, fighting over every inch they gained on each other.

Sakura watched in curious horror. She could hear bits and pieces of conversation exchanging within the frozen cage. _They must still be alive right?_ She turned back to watch her sensei. Would this be her in ten years? Fighting to the death in battles where making a mistake spells out death? She was scared all right. This was the future?

"Give up, Kakashi. You're almost spent,"

"As are you."

"Give up, let me kill the old man, then me and my tool will leave. We'll even let you and your pathetic genin live!"

"They're stronger than you think! Raiton: Raikiri (Lightning style: lightning edge)!"

* * *

"You sure you're okay, Ikotsu?" Naruto asked, panting after another volley of needles. Ikotsu looked like a cactus, needles poking out everywhere, and yet he still was pulling out senbon. The three genin were all sporting their own sets of stab wounds.

" . . . Never better . . . hah . . . heh . . . grh . . . " Ikotsu felt even worse than he looked, his vision was blurring at the edges, his body burning with the frozen needles, his hands fumbling tiredly with pin after elongated pin. " . . . hrn . . . does anyone know . . . any high powered techniques?"

"My Goukakyu no jutsu had no effect," _If that didn't work . . . then what will? _Sasuke wondered, pouring over every jutsu learned in his life, reliving terrible memories while doing so. _Itachi, that's right . . . I have to live . . . I have to kill him!_

"Ooh, Ooh, pick me! Whoa!" Naruto dodged to the side as a new set of projectiles headed his way.

"Naruto, Kage . . . bunshin don't count,"

"No, it's not-" he ducked under a stray needle "-it's not kage bunshin!"

"What?"

"I have another technique that I learned! Hehe!" Naruto grinned, taking a needle for his carelessness.

_What could he have . . . ?_ Then it dawned on Ikotsu: the forbidden scroll . . .

"Do it!" Ikotsu said in a slight burst of invigoration, another few needles killed that burst. _Ugh, it hurts . . . v-vision is crook__ed . . . neck . . . Is he trying to kill us for real?  
_

"It's gonna take a little while!"

"Me . . . 'n Sasuke . . . will cover you . . . " Ikotsu cocked his head to Sasuke, who nodded.

"Now what were the signs again? Bird-rabbit-no no no no . . . bird . . . tiger . . . " as Naruto continued, Sasuke shot Ikotsu a glance.

_We have to make it through this!_

* * *

"Haku should be just finishing up . . . " Zabuza muttered as he swung his great cleaver of a blade at Kakashi, who barely dodged. The two jounin were tiring, and fast!

" . . . we need to wrap this up soon." Kakashi grunted, driving a kunai into the back of Zabuza's shoulder. The enemy nin grunted in pain, but could still move his arm.

* * *

Haku was dead tired. Try breathing out as far as you possibly can and then some, that's what it felt like, except everywhere. _They are preparing a technique, _he noticed that the Uchiha boy was catching on to his speed, _It's now or never . . ._ The blue-haired one would go first, an easy incapacitation, if otherwise left alone he could fix himself. Then the technique user, the blond, the chakra building up in the boy's palms didn't look good for Haku. And finally, Haku would defeat the last Uchiha, the one who was just like him, but loved for his mutation rather than scorned . . .

The blond was almost ready! _NOW! _Haku sprung . . .

And just like that a hundred and eight senbon were thrown in less than a second, from virtually every angle, and all aimed perfectly for their targets. None of them would be able to dodge this!

Haku saw the the bluenet and the black haired genin exchange a last minuted nod. _What are they . . . _the two boys took up defensive positions around the blond, bluenet in front and Uchiha in back, arms crossing over their chests and necks for protection.

* * *

_T-t-t-t-thump! _Ikotsu fell to his knees.

"Ikot-"

"Naruto, don't stop that technique . . . I've finally found my words . . . " Ikotsu interrupted, his vision sprawling and his words slurring.

"In this world . . . "

A quick bout of coughing and a deep breath

"You will find . . . people that are precious to you . . . "

Haku practically froze in his mirrors

"Protect them . . . that . . . is the secret . . . to beco . . . ming . . . th . . . strongest . . . "

The world was numb. All feeling of pain and exertion gone, replaced with satisfaction and self contempt. _You're an idiot Ikotsu, not so tough now that you're in . . . the real world . . . _Ikotsu's body went limp and he fell to the wooden floor of the great bridge . . .

.

.

.

Naruto felt like he was watching a glass fall in slow motion: first the realization of what was happening, then the sputtering attempt to catch it, and then noticing the beautiful sound the glass makes before it shatters. He almost lost control of his jutsu, tears jerking at his eyes.

Ikotsu was dead . . .

He looked around, noticing his own expression in the mirrors, seeing Sasuke's eyes wide with both the shock and the realization of what was just said. Even the masked boy had stopped to look down at his handywork. Naruto bared his teeth.

Ikotsu was dead.

_Protect my precious people . . . _Naruto reaffirmed his concentration on his jutsu, rage building with each mental replay of the past thirty seconds!

Ikotsu was DEAD!

"I'M GONNA **KILL** **YOU**!"

**. . . **

**School . . . is . . . in . . . Dang it! I wAnT A rEfuNd!  
**

**Authors notes:Okay, okay, I feel like a jerk for promising that I'd update over the summer and then never updating (translation: I was playing tf 2 and Left 4 Dead with my friends.) I apologize with every fiber of my being! **

**Truth be told I didn't like writing this chapter, it was hard not to jump straight into the action and have done with it. And it was hard not to make a happy ending where Ikotsu explains everything to everyone and no one questions him (some fanfiction do that.) But then the chapter would only have been like two pages . . . **

**Anyway, this is the longest chapter I think I've ever written in my life, which is sad because I've read fanfiction with over fifteen thousand words a chapter (at that point it gets a little boring though.)**

**Ikotsu: you're a freaking jerk! I'm practically the main focus of this story, yet you killed me off!**

**Ragna: Meh, I was getting tired of your happy-go-lucky attitude anyway . . .**

**Ikotsu: Since when have I had that attitude? I've been mentally debating practically this entire story!**

**Ragna: Ah, touche!**

**Anyway, review with any thoughts, grammatical errors (I know that there are some), constructive criticism, ideas . . . you know the drill. **

**Danka! Auf wiedersehen!  
**


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